


A Home For Me And You

by Writing_will_be_my_death



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society (Homestuck), Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, F/F, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Past Child Neglect, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-03-15 01:17:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13602522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_will_be_my_death/pseuds/Writing_will_be_my_death
Summary: Earth has recently come into contact with aliens, also known as Trolls. They live on a planet they call Alternia, and many of them are afraid that their planet-wide dictatorship will be the death of them. As an act of peace, Earth sets up a program, where a Troll will be assigned to a willing human, communicate with them via a secure instant messenger system, and then get shuttled to Earth to live with their human for a minimum of 2 years.Karkat Vantas will die the moment he enters the adult world of trolls, and Dave Strider has been persuaded by his sister to accept a Troll into his apartment instead of having a roommate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hmmmmm i have too many Davekat fics on the go. This makes number 3.... whatever, one of them’s almost done

Karkat Vantas didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t. He knew if he didn’t do this, he’d definitely die, it was a fact he knew very well, but he still didn’t want to do this.

He didn’t want to message some random alien, have said alien treat him like he couldn’t do anything himself because he was a “refugee”, and be forced to deal with that for a minimum of 2 years, a little less than a sweep.

He’d already come to terms with the fact that he was going to die when he got sent to the fleets. He’d gotten Sollux to assure him it wouldn’t happen until his 10th wriggling day, but it was still terrifying. 

He was 8 now, and some of his friends were already gone. Vriska had left the night she turned 7, as did Eridan. Equius and Nepeta left together only a few perigees ago. Gamzee vanished at some point. No one’s sure if he’s just not talking to anyone, in the fleet, or dead.

Most of Karkat’s friends had asked Sollux to ensure they wouldn’t have to leave until their 10th wriggling day, and with the help of Feferi, Sollux was able to hack the system and do just that.

Still, Karkat had come to terms with his inevitable demise, and had merely hoped it would be a quick death, and not a painful one. Now though, a few of his friends had joined a rebellion, for lack of a better term.

Sollux and Aradia were going to help shuttle trolls from Alternia to this strange alien planet, and Sollux had also helped set up up the communications systems to the planet. They had both dedicated their lives to saving other trolls, and would only stay on the alien planet if they were were more of a hazard than help.

Tavros, being wheelchair-bound, was set to be on the first departure, the same one Karkat was. They both had the threat of being killed immediately, regardless of whether or not they could find a way to be a productive member of troll society. 

Kanaya was actually part of the team on the troll side directing things, telling which trolls to contact which humans, when their departure date was, all those things. She wouldn’t leave until her lusus, a virgin mother grub, died, and Kanaya would collect the matriorb to allow trolls to prosper off-planet. She’d actually been the one to convince Karkat to try and go to the other planet.

Terezi was… sort of working with Kanaya. She wanted to go to the alien planet and get into the law system, an attempt to be a fool-proof plan to ensure trolls got equal rights. Her departure was going to be much later, as she had no large threats if she ended up in the fleet by accident.

Feferi, being the heiress, was not going to the alien planet at all. She was in contact with them, yes, but she was not going to the planet. Her goal was to build up her strength so she could beat the current Empress of trolls, take her rightful place on the throne, and end the horrible dictatorship.

However, no one would be surprised if she failed, and the dictatorship continued. Karkat would either be dead, or on this weird alien planet, so it didn’t matter too much to him.

Soon, Karkat would be told who his human was, and given the code to contact him.

He knew Kanaya had a human named Rose, who apparently lived in a very big hive with her mother. A mother, Karkat had learned, was sort of like a lusus, but of the same species as the young. 

Tavros had one called Jade. She also lived in a very big hive, but hers was on an island in the middle of the ocean. Karkat wondered how Tavros would deal with living on an island while in a wheelchair.

Terezi was in the same situation as Karkat, though for different reasons. Karkat was still waiting because he’d only agreed yesterday that he’d be doing this. Terezi was still waiting because she wasn’t going to leave until at least 5 perigees after Karkat’s departure.

Looking over at his sickles, he sighed. He hadn’t used them since he was 6, and had finally come to terms with his inevitable death. He had tried for so long to get his mutant blood out of his body, it almost seemed like one of Gamzee’s miracles that he didn’t die of blood loss. 

The scars were still on his forearms, and Karkat hoped that whoever his human ended up being, they didn’t think he was weak for doing that.

Kanaya had promised him that Rose would find a good human… but Karkat wasn’t sure. He hadn’t told Kanaya about what he’d done, and he didn’t want to worry her with that anyway.

Speaking of Kanaya, she’s sending Karkat messages on Trollian.

grimAuxiliatrix [ GA ] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

GA: Hello Karkat  
GA: Guess What I Have  
CG: PLEASE TELL ME IT ISN’T MORE OF THAT SHITTY HUMAN SARCASM THAT ROSE USES  
CG: IT’S KIND OF FUCKING WEIRD WHEN YOU DO IT  
GA: No  
GA: I Am Not Here To Practice My Human Sarcasm  
GA: Though It Does Have To Do With Rose  
CG: NO FUCKING SHIT  
CG: DOESN’T EVERYTHING YOU DO THESE NIGHTS HAVE TO DO WITH ROSE?  
GA: Karkat  
GA: She Found You A Human  
CG: OH  
GA: He Is Her Brother  
GA: She Figured The Two Of You Would Bond Easily  
GA: Or At Least Come To Terms With Certain Aspects Of Yourselves  
CG: SHE DOESN’T EVEN FUCKING KNOW ME  
CG: HOW DOES SHE KNOW IF I NEED TO COME TO TERM WITH “CERTAIN ASPECTS OF MYSELF”  
CG: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN FUCKING MEAN?  
GA: Ive Told Her About You  
GA: Almost Everything I Know  
CG: DID YOU TELL HER ABOUT MY BLOOD COLOUR?  
GA: No, I Figured You Would Rather Be The One To Tell Others Something Like That  
CG: THANK FUCK  
CG: WHAT’S HIS CODE?  
GA: Ill Send It Too You Over The Private Channel Sollux Has Set Up  
CG: THAT FUCKING THING  
CG: SERIOUSLY  
GA: We Must Take All Necessary Precautions  
GA: We Cant Leave Any Risks  
GA: I Can Tell You That His Username Is TurntechGodhead  
GA: And That Is Name Is Dave  
CG: HE SOUNDS LIKE HE HAS HIS HEAD UP HIS WASTECHUTE  
GA: Should I Tell Rose Your Opinion Of Her Brother And Your Soon To Be Hivemate  
CG: I HONESTLY DO NOT GIVE A SHIT  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS A BROTHER?  
GA: Im Not Quite Sure  
GA: Rose Explained It As Having The Same Mother And Father  
GA: If Thats Any Help  
CG: NOT REALLY  
CG: BUT WHAT THE FUCK ELSE SHOULD I EXPECT FROM SUCH AN INFERIOR SPECIES  
GA: They Are The Reason You Are Going To Live  
CG: I SAID NOTHING ABOUT THEIR SOCIETY  
GA: I Have Sent You The Code  
GA: I Would Recommend You Contact Dave As Soon As Possible  
CG: ALRIGHT  
CG: BYE KANAYA  
GA: Bye Karkat 

grimAuxiliatrix [ GA ] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

~~~~~

On the alien planet known as earth, Dave Strider sits in his apartment, waiting for his designated troll to contact him.

He lives in a two bedroom apartment, and his mother had decided that if he wanted to live on his own, she would be paying for wherever he lived. However, the silence of living alone is too much of a reminder of things Dave would prefer to forget. Hence, he wanted to get a roommate.

Dave had been discussing with his sister, Rose, how to post an ad to get a roommate, when she proposed he instead had a alien live with him. 

At first Dave had been opposed to the idea, it was weird to think that he could possibly live with a being that had been on another planet. Rose then reminded him that he didn’t exactly have a normal style of living, and might scare off a human roommate. At least an alien could shrug it off as “human weirdness”.

Their mother was also one of the lead doctors who were qualified to take care of the aliens if they were sick or injured, so that was only another reason why it was a good idea for Dave to get an alien living with him.

Rose also said that her alien, Kanaya, had a friend, whom she wanted to live in a respectable home. Rose wanted that home to be Dave’s home, and when he asked if she really thought his home was respectable, she dodged the question. Still, this meant that Dave would skip the waiting list.

Dave and Rose’s two other friends were also going to have aliens live with them.

Well, John was hopefully going to have an alien living with him. He still lived with his dad, and thus had to convince his dad to have an alien live with him. Things were not going well so far.

Jade’s alien was named Tavros. Apparently he was wheelchair bound, and that’s why he’d be on the first ship. The alien Rose had said would probably be living with Dave would also be on the first ship, but Dave didn’t know why. The first ship was for aliens that would be killed immediately if they were found, and most of them were severely physically disabled. 

Dave was beginning to wonder if this alien was ever going to contact him, or if he’d end up waiting the 4 and a ¼ months until the first departure and never actually hear from this alien.

Luckily, that would not be the case.

carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] began trolling turntechGodhead [ TG ]

CG: SO YOU’RE THE SHITHEAD HUMAN IM GOING TO BE STUCK WITH IN TWO PERIGEES FOR A LITTLE LESS THAN A SWEEP  
TG: hey dude dont be rude  
TG: i mean its not like youve got anywhere else to go right  
CG: I HAD ACCEPTED MY DEATH LONG BEFORE THIS “PROGRAM” WAS EVEN A THOUGHT  
CG: IN THEORY I CAN STILL BACK OUT  
TG: yeah  
TG: but you wont  
TG: roses alien  
TG: i think her names Kanaya?  
TG: she wants you to live right?  
TG: you wouldn’t make a lady sad right  
TG: uh  
TG: hey dude i dont actually know your name  
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOD  
CG: MY NAME IS KARKAT  
TG: alright  
TG: so karkat  
TG: youre gonna be on the first ship right?  
CG: THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT I FUCKING SAID WHEN I MESSAGED YOU  
TG: yeah ok whatever  
TG: from what rose told me  
TG: the first ship is like entirely trolls with severe physical disabilities  
TG: so why are you on it?  
TG: what physical disability do you have that I need to take into account when getting you shit  
CG: BELIEVE IT OR NOT FUCKASS  
CG: I’M ACTUALLY PROBABLY THE ONLY TROLL WHO’S GOING TO BE ON THE FIRST DEPARTURE WHO DOESN’T HAVE A PHYSICAL DISABILITY  
TG: so  
TG: why are you on it  
CG: YOU’RE STILL A FUCKING STRANGER  
CG: SO I’M NOT TELLING YOU  
TG: aw man dude  
TG: you dont trust me?  
TG: i am hurt  
TG: look at that karkat  
TG: you hurt my soft human feelings  
TG: how does that make you feel?  
CG: THAT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE TALKING TO ONE OF MY ACTUAL FRIENDS

carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [ TG ]


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what Rose and Kanaya are up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhh this ones shorter than the last one, sorry :/
> 
> I just couldn’t think of anything else for Kanaya to do, and I didn’t want to switch views again

Rose Lalonde sat in her room, waiting for her brother to tell her something about Karkat.

Downstairs, her mother was attempting to make dinner. She’d been sober for nearly 5 whole years now, making life much better for the both of them. If her mother was still the alcoholic she was before, there’d be no way she’d be a lead troll specialist doctor, and Rose would most likely have never met Kanaya.

A ding from her computer pulled her out of her thoughts.

turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

TG: alright so the dude messaged me  
TT: Oh really?  
TT: I never would have guessed.  
TG: shut up rose  
TT: What’s he like?  
TG: im pretty sure i pissed him off  
TG: or he was already pissed off  
TG: idk rose this guy might be perpetually pissed off  
TG: whyd you think itd be a good idea to have us live together?  
TG: our first conversation was pretty shitty  
TT: I don’t think it’d be a stretch to say the two of you could bond over mutual trauma.  
TG: dear god rose  
TG: im fine  
TG: that was all three years ago  
TT: Your attitude towards the subject also hasn’t changed.  
TT: Dave, you need to talk about what happened.  
TG: youre not my fucking therapist  
TT: Maybe you should consider getting one.  
TG: i came here to talk about aliens with my sister  
TG: not get psychoanalyzed by a creep  
TG: putting you in a College for psychology was a shitty idea  
TG: im leaving

turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

“Rosey! Dinner!” Her mother called from downstairs.

“Coming!” Rose called back.

Downstairs, her mother had cooked leftover ham and mashed potatoes, and threw in a salad.

“Did Davey get in contact with his troll buddy?” Rose’s mother asked while the two ate.

“Yes he did. Apparently the troll, Karkat, has a rather violent attitude,” Rose replies.

“Well, do you know if Karkat is loud violent or a quiet violent?” Her mother’s question was an important one.

“Based on Dave’s phrasing, I’d say Karkat is more of a loud violent. Kanaya has told me, however, that he’s not actually as angry as he seems,” Rose knew that Dave would not have dealt with a silently angry roommate very well.

“Oooo, maybe this Karkat troll will help Davey loosen up. Poor kid’s always pretending to be above everything,” Her mother replied.

“That would be ideal,” Rose started, “maybe he can even bring his alien ideals over and help Dave come to terms with… other things,”

“Rosey!” Her mother exclaimed, “You shouldn’t be analysing your brother like that! I know you’re excited about being at that psychology school, but you only started it this year,”

“I know, mother,” Rose sighed, “I just want to help him,”

“Well, I don’t think he appreciates having you pick apart his brain,” Her mom replied, “How are things with Kanaya?”

“Things are going fairly well. Her lusus is still as active as she’s always been, so we both doubt Kanaya will be on the first ship,” Rose said.

“It’s unfortunate her mother-lusus gotta die for her to come to earth,” Her mother frowned at her plate, “no one should need their parent to die to do anything, at least not if they get along with their parent”

“Well, Kanaya’s lusus would most likely die from stress on the trip to earth anyway, so the only difference really is that the stress would also kill the matriorb.”

~~~~~

Kanaya Maryam had much to do. She had spoken to more trolls in the last perigee than she had in her entire life, and she still had more to speak to. She did frequent check ups on lists and message boards, and was constantly hoping one troll in particular did not try to contact her again.

Terezi was eager to learn which human she’d be staying with, despite the fact she would be on the 5th departure, which wouldn’t leave for 8 perigees.

Oh look, Terezi is trying to contact Kanaya again.

gallowsCalibrator [ GC ] started trolling grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

GC: K4N4Y4  
GA: No Terezi  
GA: There Is Not Yet A Human For You  
GA: I Will Let You Know When There Is  
GA: >:?  
GC: TH4TS NOT WH4T 1 C4M3 TO T4LK TO YOU 4BOUT  
GA: Oh  
GA: My Apologies Then  
GA: What Did You Want To Talk About  
GC: TH3 COURT H4S D3CID3D TH4T PYR4LSP1T3 W1LL NOT B3 JO1N1NG M3 ON MY JOURN3Y TO 34RTH  
GA: Oh  
GA: Why Not  
GC: H3R 3GG W1LL NOT SURV1V3 TH3 JOURN3Y  
GC: 4ND SH3D 4LSO PROB4BLY B3 CONS1D3R3D A PR3D4TOR OR SOM3TH1NG  
GC: 4LSO SH3 DO3SNT W4NT TO GO  
GA: Im Sorry About That  
GC: BL4444444RG  
GC: 1TS WH4T3V3R  
GC: JUST THOUGHT 1D L3T 4 PL4NN3R KNOW  
GA: I Will Forward The Message To The Other Planners  
GA: Is That All You Came To Talk To Me About  
GC: Y34H  
GC: BUT NOW I H4V3 NOTH1NG TO DO  
GC: >:[  
GA: Well Im Busy  
GA: Why Dont You Talk To Feferi  
GC: SH3 ISNT 4NS3R1NG  
GC: B3SID3S  
GC: YOU C4NT 4LW4YS B3 T4LK1NG TO YOUR M4T3SPR1T  
GA: She Is Not My Matesprit  
GC: S3N4TOR L3MONSNOUT S4YS OTH3RWIS3  
GC: >:]  
GA: Terezi!  
GC: OH PL34S3 K4N4Y4  
GC: 1TS 4LW4YS “ROS3 S41D TH1S” “ROS3 S41D THAT”  
GC: L1K3 OK W3 G3T 1T  
GC: YOUR3 3XC1T3D TO B3 T4LK1NG TO 4N 4L13N  
GC: BUT 3V3N T4VROS 1SNT TH4T OBSS3S3D W1TH H1S HUM4N  
GA: Terezi Pyrope You Stop That This Instant Or Ill Block You  
GC: I 4M M3R3LY ST4T1NG TH3 TRUTH

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] blocked gallowsCalibrator [ GC ]

Kanaya was not in the mood to deal with this. She was simply highly fascinated with the humans’ planet, and the only one she could really talk to about it was Rose.

She needed something to take her mind off quadrants, something to calm her down. Karkat did need a new sweater, might as well get started on that. She could contact the other planners in a bit.

The sweater was going to look like all his others, black with a gray version of his sign in the middle, not to mention probably two sizes too large. That’s how Karkat wanted them, so that’s how Kanaya made them. Maybe on Earth Karkat will finally change his wardrobe.

It was not long before Rose was contacting Kanaya.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

TT: Hello Kanaya.  
GA: Hello Rose  
TT: How are you?  
GA: Alright  
GA: Im Attempting To Calm Down By Making A Sweater  
GA: Its Not Really Working  
TT: What happened that made you need to calm down?  
GA: I Wont Go Too Far Into Detail But  
GA: Terezi Thinks I Am In A Matespritship With Someone  
GA: But Im Not  
GA: And Yet She Keeps Insisting It  
TT: Wait.  
TT: What’s a matespritship?  
GA: Its A  
GA: Well  
GA: Its A Matespritship  
GA: Do You Not Have Quadrants On Earth?  
TT: The definition of “quadrant” on Earth is simply something divided into four parts,  
TT: And it seems that your definition would be different.  
TT: So no, we don’t.  
GA: So  
GA: How Do You Organize Your Romantic Feelings For Others  
TT: Organize our romantic feelings?  
TT: I don’t think that’s something we do at all.  
TT: I mean, you can date someone, be in love with someone, or marry someone.  
TT: But none of those are all that formal, save for marriage, and best you are in love with the person you’re dating, and later will marry them.  
GA: That Sounds Much More Simple Than Quadrants  
GA: I Feel Bad For Dave  
TT: Why?  
GA: Karkat Is Obsessed With Quadrants  
GA: He Will Only Read Romance Novels  
GA: And Only Watch Rom-Coms  
GA: I Have Been Victim To Many Of His Rants Of Overuse Of Tropes And Unrealistic Quadrant Vacillations And Formations  
GA: And Dave Will Certainly Be Victim To That As Well  
TT: Quadrants do sound confusing.  
GA: They Are Far More Complicated Than I Could Explain  
GA: Surely There Is Something That You Can Read On The Subject  
GA: I Doubt I Could Explain Them To Karkats Standards  
TT: I will look.  
TT: In the meantime, I think I’ll warn my brother of Karkat’s obsession.  
GA: I Think Ill Tell Karkat In Advance That Humans Do Not Have Quadrants To Save Anyone Else From His Reaction

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

GA: Karkat  
GA: I Need To Warn You About Something  
CG: WHAT.  
GA: Now  
GA: Dont Freak Out  
GA: Please Stay Calm  
CG: I’LL BE FINE.  
CG: JUST SAY IT.  
GA: Ok  
GA: Humans Dont Have Quadrants  
CG: …  
CG: IS THAT IT?  
GA: Yes  
CG: OH.  
CG: OK.  
GA: Karkat Are You Alright  
CG: I’M FINE.  
CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T I BE?  
GA: With The Way You Talk About Your Romance Novels And Rom-Coms I Was Sure Id Be Victim To A Novel-Length Rant About Humans And Their Inferior System Of Romance And How You Would Be Sure To Correct It Once You Arrived On Earth  
CG: THAT WOULD JUST MAKE ME SOUND LIKE A SELF-ABSORBED WRIGGLER.  
GA: Well Im Pretty Sure Its What Your Reaction Would Have Been When You Were 6  
GA: And To Be Honest You Havent Changed All That Much  
CG: OH FUCK YOU KANAYA.  
CG: I’VE CHANGED PLENTY.  
CG: 6 SWEEP OLD ME WAS A FUCKING IDIOT WHO THOUGHT HE WAS ENTITLED TO EVERYTHING.  
GA: I Just Wanted To Warn You About That So That Dave Didnt Get The Brunt Of Your Reaction  
CG: WELL I’M STILL GOING TO EDUCATE HIM ON THE COMPLEXITY OF QUADRANTS.  
CG: WAIT.  
GA: What  
CG: HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT HUMANS NOT HAVING QUADRANTS?  
GA: Thats None Of Your Concern  
CG: DID YOU ASK ROSE TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL?  
GA: No!  
GA: I Am Tired Of Others Trying To Tell Me What My Relationships Are!  
GA: First With Terezi Thinking I Wanted Rose In A Matespritship  
GA: And Now With You Thinking I Want Her In A Moirallegiance  
GA: I Am Perfectly Content With All Four Of My Quadrants Being Empty!

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

Kanaya was not an easy troll to anger, and even now she was more annoyed than angry, but she certainly would have told anyone that she was angry if they asked.

She had much to do anyway, with planning and what not. It would most likely be best to tell the other planners that the 5th departure would be down a lusus sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys think I should have more focus on the development of Rosemary later on? Originally it was just going to be used as a “Yes Karkat Trolls And Humans Can Be Happy Together” but all of a sudden im starting to really like the dynamic between Rose and Kanaya.
> 
> Idk what do you guys think? Davekat will still be the main focus, but Rosemary will get more screentime/development and get moved to the main ship tags


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little more is learnt about Dave and Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhhhhhhhhholy shit this is looooong.
> 
> Damn.
> 
> I uh, yeah.
> 
> Enjoy.

So humans didn’t do quadrants. Karkat Vantas found this very interesting, and there was only one troll he would talk to about something this interesting.

Terezi Pyrope.

carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [ GC ]

CG: TEREZI.  
CG: TEREZI FUCKING ANSWER ME.  
CG: I KNOW YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO.  
GC: YOU 4R3 SO R1GHT K4RK4T 4ND 1 TH4NK YOU FOR 3NT3RT41N1G M3  
CG: KANAYA JUST TOLD ME SOMETHING VERY INTERESTING.  
GC: >:O  
GC: D1D SH3 4SK ROS3 TO B3 H3R M4T3SPR1T?  
GC: >:]  
CG: I DON’T THINK SO.  
CG: BUT SOMEHOW SHE FOUND OUT THAT HUMANS DON’T DO QUADRANTS, SO I WOULDN’T GET YOUR HOPES UP ABOUT ROSE AND KANAYA BEING ANYTHING AT ALL.  
GC: OH  
GC: W3LL FUCK  
GC: ST1LL, TH4TS GOOD FOR YOU R1GHT?  
GC: YOU M1GHT NOT D13 4LON3!  
GC: >:]  
CG: WOW.  
CG: FUCK YOU TOO.  
GC: DO YOU 3V3N H4V3 4 HUM4N Y3T?  
CG: UNFORTUNATELY I DO.  
GC: >:?  
GC: UNFORTUN4T3LY?  
CG: HE IS A FUCKING ASSHOLE!  
CG: HE THINKS HE OWNS THE FUCKING WORLD, THAT EVERYONE MUST BOW AT HIS FUCKING FEET.  
CG: ACCORDING TO KANAYA, ROSE THOUGHT HE AND I WOULD “BOND EASILY” AND “COME TO TERMS WITH CERTAIN ASPECTS OF OURSELVES”.  
GC: M4YB3 H3S NOT QU1T3 L1K3 HOW H3 S33MS?  
GC: K1ND4 L1K3 HOW YOU S33M L1K3 YOUD B3 4T L34ST M1LDLY 1NT1M1D4T1NG  
GC: BUT 1N R34L1TY YOUR3 JUST 4DOR4BL3  
CG: YOU MEAN ADORABLOODTHIRSTY?  
GC: WH4T3V3R H3LPS YOU SL33P DUR1NG TH3 D4Y  
CG: ALL I KNOW IS THAT I’LL BE GLAD WHEN THE TWO FUCKING YEARS ARE UP.  
GC: K4RK4T  
GC: 1F YOU 4CTU4LY H4D TH3 C4P4C1TY FOR QU4DR4NTS 1D S4Y TH1NGS W3R3 G3TT1NG PR3TTY C4L1G1NOUS BETWEEN YOU 4ND YOUR HUM4N  
CG: WELL THANKFULLY I DON’T HAVE THE CAPACITY FOR QUADRANTS THEN.  
GC: ST1LL  
GC: 1 WOULD’T B3 SURPR1S3D 1F TH1NGS CH4NG3D L4T3R  
GC: >:]  
GC: > :]  
GC: >:]  
GC: > :]  
CG: TEREZI YOU DISGUST ME.  
GC: >:]  
CG: YOU’VE BEEN LIKE THIS EVER SINCE NEPETA LEFT!  
CG: ALWAYS THINKING YOU KNEW THE INS AND OUTS OF EVERYONE’S RELATIONSHIPS.  
CG: I’VE LITERALLY HAD ONE FUCKING CONVERSATION WITH DAVE.  
CG: NOT MUCH CAN REALLY BE DEDUCTED ABOUT HOW WE’LL GET ALONG.  
GC: 1 KNOWWWWWW  
GC: 1M JUST BOR3D 4LL TH3 T1M3  
GC: >:[  
CG: OH.  
CG: WELL, YOU CAN ALWAYS TRY AND GET IN CONTACT WITH ME, BUT I’LL BE LESS AVAILABLE AS MY DEPARTURE APPROACHES.  
GC: HOP3FULLY BY TH3 T1M3 YOUR3 GON3 1LL H4V3 4 HUM4N TO T4LK TO  
GC: 1F NOT 1 M1GHT GO 1NS4N3!  
CG: YOU MEAN YOU AREN’T ALREADY?  
GC: YOU H4V3 NO 1D34  
GC: >:]  
CG: I FEEL BAD FOR THE HUMAN THAT’LL BE STUCK WITH YOU.  
CG: THEY’LL HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL OF THIS ON A DAILY BASIS, AND NOT EVEN THROUGH THE MERCY OF A COMPUTER SCREEN.  
GC: >:]  
GC: W3LL  
GC: 1 TH1NK 1TS T1M3 FOR M3 TO GO TO SL33P  
GC: 4ND YOU B3TT3R TOO!  
GC: YOU S3LF-1NDUC3D 1NSOMN14C  
CG: YEAH YEAH WHATEVER.  
GC: GOOD MORN1NG K4RK4T  
GC: GOOD MORNING TEREZI.

carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [ GC ]

Was Karkat going to sleep? Maybe. He still hadn’t eaten dinner, however, and he wasn’t going to abandon all healthy habits.

Downstairs, his lusus was watching the front door, as usual. Karkat grabbed some food from his thermal hull, and sat down to eat.

His lusus looked at him, and made a hiss-like growl.

“What? You never fucking eat what I give you. You always insist on hunting your own damn food,” Karkat barked back.

His lusus merely screeched in reply.

“Yeah yeah, you’re fucking terrifying. Yes I’m eating grubloaf for dinner, no you can’t make me eat anything else,” Karkat huffed. His lusus was always trying to make him eat better food, it’s like he didn’t understand the fact that it was nearly impossible to get any food at all without revealing your blood colour.

After his lusus grumbled and went back to watching the front door, Karkat managed to finish his small meal in silence.

Heading back upstairs, he noticed someone was messaging him on trollian.

adiosToreador [ AT ] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

AT: hEYYYYY kARKAT,  
AT: tEREZI TOLD ME YOU GOT, uH, a HUMAN TODAY?  
CG: YEAH I DID, ASSWIPE.  
CG: WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ABOUT THIS AT THIS THIS HOUR? SHOULDN’T YOU BE SLEEPING OR SOME SHIT.  
AT: i, uHHHH,  
AT: i JUST WANTED TO KNOW,  
AT: wHAT YOU’RE HUMANS NAME WAS,  
AT: iNCASE, uHH, tHEY KNEW MINE,  
CG: DEAR FUCKING GOD.  
CG: HIS NAME IS DAVE.  
CG: NOW SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP, TAVROS.  
AT: uHH,  
AT: oKAY,  
AT: gOOD MORNING,

adiosToreador [ AT ] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

Karkat groaned. Tavros hadn’t really matured in the last few sweeps, and it showed. Maybe Earth would help him grow up? Probably not.

Finally changing into sleepwear, Karkat submerges himself into the warm embrace of sopor slime in his recuperacoon.

~~~~~

When Dave Strider wakes up, he is fully awake, but he does not get out of bed. He lies there, listening.

After about half an hour, he does get up, and very quietly makes his way to his bedroom door, pausing there. He presses his ear against the door, and when he can’t hear anything at all, he gets out.

Swiftly making his way into the kitchen, his head turns on a swivel, scanning for a threat that no longer exists.

Dave takes a placemat out from the cupboard so he can put his bowl down without it making any noise, and carefully pours his cereal into the bowl so that it too is silent.

When he opens his fridge to grab milk, he jumps to dodge falling swords that aren’t there. A wave of relief washes over him, but he’s still cautious as he pours the milk into the bowl.

After putting the milk away, grabbing a spoon, and putting the placemat away, he makes his way back over to his room to eat in complete silence.

A little bit after Dave is done his breakfast, a ding from his computer breaks the silence.

gardenGnostic [ GG ] began pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

GG: dave!!!  
GG: dave guess what!!!  
TG: the volcano on your island finally exploded and now youre sending this message to me as a ghost  
TG: poor jade  
TG: she was only 20  
TG: how dare you end her life so early  
GG: noooooo silly! :P  
GG: our aliens know eachother!!!  
TG: oh shit  
TG: are they like  
TG: best bros  
TG: the coolest of bros  
TG: bros so cool that it would make it snow on your tropical island  
GG: i dont think so :(  
GG: but they do seem to be friends of some sort!  
TG: yeah i figured karkat wouldnt be the kind of guy to be chill  
TG: he is a literal embodiment of rage  
TG: like if you looked up rage in a dictionary  
TG: the definition would be karkat  
GG: well, according to tavros, karkat is actually a lot nicer than he lets on!  
GG: apparently he was really sad when their friend gamzee went missing :(  
TG: who the fuck is gamzee  
GG: im not sure, tavros gets really sad when i bring him up  
GG: apparently he and karkat were the only ones that were really sad about it  
TG: huh  
GG: but i didn’t come here to talk to you about sad things!  
GG: since i have to go to the landing site to pick up tavros to take a private jet to my island, i was wondering if you wanted to come to the landing site too!  
GG: with everything karkats been through, im sure hell appreciate it! :D  
TG: you know  
TG: that actually sounds like a good idea  
TG: be all like hey bro look its me, im here being an awesome dude and picking you up right from the landing site in fucking florida  
TG: also known as americas dick  
GG: dave!!!  
GG: dont be rude! :(  
TG: im not being rude  
TG: im being honest  
TG: 100 percent non ironic honesty  
TG: florida is full of dicks  
TG: you know, like those people who do something and youre like “hey man that was a dick move” but then they just keep doing it  
TG: theyre in cahoots with the texan assholes  
GG: D:  
GG: but dave!!!  
GG: you grew up in texas!  
GG: and youre not an asshole, youre really cool!! :D  
TG: its nice to know you think that  
TG: but lets be honest the world is full of dicks and assholes  
GG: :(  
GG: i have to go, but,  
GG: you stop being so mean to the world!  
GG: we need to make it a nice place for the trolls :D  
GG: bye dave!  
TG: bye jade

gardenGnostic [ GG ] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

Dave was about to get dressed and start doing stuff for the day, when he noticed that rose had tried to contact him last night while he was asleep.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

TT: Hello Dave.  
TT: There’s something I’m supposed to warn you about Karkat.  
TT:...  
TT: Dave?

turntechGodhead [ TG ] is now an idle chum!

TT: Well, at least I know you’re sleeping.  
TT: Message me back when you get this.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

TG: what do you need to warn me about  
TG: does karkat have some mental disability that could make it next to impossible for him to live here  
TG: is he insane  
TG: rose please  
TG: i know your first class doesn’t start for like an hour  
TG: rose  
TG: rose  
TT: Dave, calm down.  
TT: It’s nothing serious.  
TG: then what the fuck is it  
TT: Losing our cool, are we?  
TG: rose  
TT: Someone might think you care.  
TG: rose  
TT: Yes, yes, I’m getting to it.  
TT: Trolls have…  
TT: An interesting take on romance.  
TG: now is not the time to be calling me a repressed gay rose  
TT: I wasn’t going to, but since you’ve brought it up…  
TG: rose  
TT: As I was saying.  
TT: Trolls have an interesting take on romance, and according to Kanaya, Karkat has a bit of an obsession with romance novels and rom-coms, and has a tendency to go on long-winded rants about them.  
TG: rose are you gonna fucking psychoanalyze him and tell him he act doesnt do quadrants and hes subconsciously making up for that  
TG: like what you said about me when i decided to be inclusive and make a mini comic about a gay couple last year  
TG: is anyone going to be free of your analysis  
TT: It all depends on how he reacts to human romance, really.  
TT: How he reacts to the idea of it, and displays of it.  
TT: Though I do recommend you join me in my reading of a few articles on quadrants that have been uploaded.  
TG: sure  
TG: why the fuck not

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] sent a file

TT: That’s my list of resources.  
TG: cool  
TT: Now I have to go get ready for class.  
TT: Talk to you later, Dave.  
TG: see ya rose

turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

Looking through the file, Dave noticed that most of the resources were act just translated romance novels. There was about 13 of them, and they all had ridiculously long names. Maybe Karkat would have a recommendation?

turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

TG: hey karkat  
TG: so rose told me you have this obsession with romance novels and rom coms  
TG: and apparently troll romance is different from human romance?  
TG: yeah so she sent me a file full of “resources” about troll romance  
TG: and most most of them are honestly just romance novels  
TG: but like they all have really long names and im not too sure which one would be good to read first  
TG: so i figured since youre the romance novel guy i should probably ask you  
TG: so yeah dude what book does the romance guru think the newbie should read  
TG: but if one of them has porn im not reading it  
TG: hate to break it to you dude but im not into fucking aliens  
TG: i am just as much into aliens as i am into dudes  
TG: which is to say  
TG: not at all  
TG: rose and her fucking gay raydar gaydar whatever the fuck it is can go fuck off into the sun  
CG: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.  
CG: SERIOUSLY, I WENT TO GO SEE IF I HAD ANY FUCKING FOOD TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST, AND I COME BACK TO *THIS*?  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK.  
TG: wait wait you went to see if you HAD any food?  
TG: do you normally not have food?  
CG: NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE,  
CG: ALTERNIA FUCKING SUCKS.  
CG: I’M NOT COMING TO EARTH BECAUSE IT’S COOL, OR BECAUSE I WANT TO.  
CG: I’M COMING TO EARTH BECAUSE IF I DON’T I’LL FUCKING DIE.  
TG: yeah i know i just thought you at least had food  
TG: jade had said when she first met tavros that he had less food than normal but he still had enough  
TG: so why do you not have food?  
CG: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, REALLY.  
CG: NOW JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAME TO TALK TO ME ABOUT.  
TG: just scroll up and read what i wrote  
CG: FINE.  
CG: CAN YOU SUMMARIZE A FEW OF THE TITLES?  
TG: uhhh  
TG: nah man i literally have no idea what any of them are about  
CG: OK THEN, COPY AND PASTE THE NAME OF THE SHORTEST TITLE.  
TG: alright  
TG: here goes  
TG: In which a rust blood and an olive blood vacillate from a moirallegiance to a kismesisitude, while the rust blood creates a new moirallegiance with a gold blood who attempts and fails to be in a matespritship with a jade blood. The olive blood enters a moirallegiance with another olive blood who ends up in a matespritship with the previously mentioned jade blood, and has a tendency to attempt a kismesisitude with any and all highbloods. The first olive blood becomes friends with a violet blood, whom the second olive blood attempts to form a kismesisitude with, and fails. The jade blood, in turn, attempts and succeeds in forming a moirallegiance with the violet blood.  
CG: HMM.  
CG: THAT ONE PROVIDES GOOD AND SIMPLE QUADRANTS, BUT IT’S TOO UNREALISTIC THAT THEY WERE ALL ABLE TO MEET EACH OTHER SO FUCKING EASILY.  
CG: IT ALSO DOESN’T HAVE ANY GOOD EXAMPLES OF AUSPICTISM EXCEPT FOR THE FEW REFERENCES OF THE RUST BLOOD BEING AN AUSPICTIST FOR THE SECOND OLIVE BLOOD AND HER VARIOUS FAILED PITCH QUADRANT MATES IN THE PAST.  
CG: THOUGH IT DOES ADEQUATELY DEMONSTRATE ALL FOUR QUADRANTS.  
TG: ok most important question  
TG: does it have a porn scene  
TG: because if it does im not reading it  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS A PORN SCENE.  
TG: its when  
TG: you know  
TG: two characters do the do  
TG: when they fuck  
CG: YOU MEAN A PAILING SCENE?  
TG: probably?  
CG: WELL, THE LEAD KISMESIS COUPLE IS IMPLIED TO PAIL AT ONE POINT, AND IT’S REFERENCED THAT THE LEAD MATESPRIT COUPLE HAS PAILED AT LEAST ONCE, BUT THERE ARE NO EXPLICIT PAILING SCENES.  
TG: is it all  
TG: like  
TG: consensual?  
CG: OBVIOUSLY?  
CG: WHY WOULD YOU FORCE SOMEONE TO PAIL WITH YOU IF THEY SAID NO?  
TG: just making sure  
TG: anyway there was actually some other shit i wanted to do today  
TG: and probably talk john down from a rant about how dumb his dad is about not letting him help a troll  
CG: TO BE FAIR, MOST TROLLS AREN’T ALL THAT PLEASANT. I MEAN TEREZI FUCKING EATS CHALK.  
CG: AND THEN THERE’S ME AND ALL MY FUCKING PROBLEMS.  
TG: yeah you got anger problems  
TG: but its whatever there are worse people out there  
TG: anyway i should message john before he starts blowing up my inbox  
TG: later

turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering ectoBiologist [ EB ]

TG: hey dude  
TG: how are things with your dad?  
EB: just awful!  
EB: you came just in time, dave.  
EB: just wait until you hear what he said today!  
TG: did he tell you he didn’t want another child  
TG: or maybe that he thought trolls acted like wild animals  
TG: because i can vouch for the fact that trolls do not act like wild animals  
TG: karkat seems to be rather sophisticated in the field of romance  
EB: wait.  
EB: you got a troll?  
TG: yeah dude  
TG: did i not tell you?  
EB no!  
EB: but yeah, you were right about the animal thing.  
EB: not only that, but he kept on saying i might not get along with them!  
EB: he doesn’t understand that the point is to help them get away from an awful planet, not to be all buddy buddy with them!  
EB: i’m just so tired of him making more food than we need, then blaming me for not bringing any friends over to eat it!  
EB: i am offering the perfect two year solution to that problem, and he won’t even consider it.  
TG: maybe  
TG: wait till karkat and tavros get here  
TG: and we can get your dad to meet one or both of them  
TG: then he might change his mind  
EB: that…  
EB: actually sounds like a good idea.  
EB: thanks dave!  
TG: anytime dude  
TG: anyway i wanna go take some sick winter pics while its still nice out  
TG: later  
EB: good luck!

turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [ EB ]

Finally getting dressed, dave puts his breakfast dishes quietly in the sink. Swiftly, he grabs his camera and puts on his winter boots, coat, and scarf.

January was a good month for Glens falls. Snow everywhere, it was beautiful. Perfect for picture taking. Since Karkat would be arriving in May, it’d be a while until he’d be able to see the beauty of winter.

It was Dave’s favourite season. It was so new, so unlike everything that happened three years ago. He was almost able to fully relax.

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah i headcanon daves favourite season is winter. I actually have reasoning behind it! More than just “oh texas was really hot and dave hated texas therefore heat and therefore loves winter” i actually did an analysis of the beta kids planet names and noticed a pattern. If you want me to elaborate, i can.
> 
> Anyway, leave a comment, they motivate me to write more!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters are recieved, and a sweater made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was an interesting chapter to write. I’m trying to do a thing with like, one chapter is dave and karkat centered, and the next one is rose and kanaya centered. It’ll probably work for everything I have planned? I hope so. Enjoy!

Rose Lalonde was definitely one of the top students in her classes, and her teachers noticed when she was distracted.

“Ms. Lalonde, is everything alright?” Her teacher asked as she packed up her stuff.

“Of course, Mr. Veredan, why wouldn’t it be?” Rose was not feeling off, so what had made her teacher think she was?

“You seemed… distracted today in class,” His tone was worrisome, and rightfully so, as Rose was never distracted.

“Ah, it must be what I’m currently reading about. With a troll coming to live with me eventually, there’s a lot I’m trying to learn,” Rose replies with a smile on her face.

“Well, they better not interfere with your work too much, I’d hate to see your bright young mind not reaching its full potential,” He replied in a more joking tone.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to concentrate more tomorrow,”

“Oh and, Ms. Lalonde,” Mr. Veredan’s voice was now worried and hushed, “I wouldn’t tell Mr. Lethcoe about the whole troll thing. He… isn’t too fond of resources going to immigrants of any kind, let alone aliens,”

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. Bye, Mr. Veredan!”

“See you tomorrow, Ms. Lalonde,”

Driving home, Rose was still a little distracted. Troll romance was fascinating, and she had quite a few questions that she planned on asking Kanaya.

Auspisticism was a little confusing, and where was the line drawn between simply helping a friend in need and moirallegiance? Was it possible to hate someone without entering a kismesisitude or requiring an auspice?

Arriving home, Rose found a letter addressed to her mother in the mailbox. The insignia, she knew it was about the troll immigration process. The more delicate subjects were always sent by letter, with a tracker installed of course. 

Rose grabbed the letter and went inside.

“Mother!” She called, “There was a letter in the mail for you, it’s about the trolls,”

“Can you bring it up to my office?” Her mother called back, “I’m catching up with an old friend,”

Rose was surprised to hear this. She knew her mother's youth had been less than ideal, and she had said she had cut all ties with anyone from back then for good reason. Perhaps this wasn’t that old of a friend? Maybe it was just one she had made at work when she first started, and the friend had moved away or something. Similar thoughts raced through Rose’s head as she went upstairs to her mother’s office.

“Here,” She said, putting the letter on the desk.

“Thank you!” Her mother said, still typing quickly to the old friend.

“Who are they?” Rose asked.

“I told you, an old friend,” Her mother replied with a smirk.

“Yes, but who are they to you?”

Her mother didn’t answer immediately, taking a moment to think, or maybe too busy replying to her friend. Either way, it made her next words seem very important.

“Well, let’s just say she was a big help way back when,” Her mother replies, “and I ain’t gonna tell you anymore until Davey’s here too. He deserves to hear it and I’m not saying the whole story twice,”

“The story,” Rose starts, “would that happen to be, the whole story? Or just the part involving this ‘old friend’?”

Her mother sighs as she signs off of the chat system and turns to face Rose. 

“Rose, I’m not gonna tell you all these lil’ tidbits of information. When your brother’s ready to hear the whole thing, then you will too,” She says, then changes her tone to a more joking one, “now scram, I got a important letter to read,”

Rose rolled her eyes as she left. This was a common occurrence. Her mother had never spoken to her about much. Not before she stopped drinking, and not after. And it wasn’t just her mother, Dave did it too.

Dave still refused to tell anyone about how he grew up. What caused the big change where he realized things were wrong?

John and Jade had their secrets too, but theirs were justifiable, as they didn’t really know the answers. Still, they didn’t even look, and it annoyed Rose to no end.

Talking to Kanaya would probably help get out some of this anger.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

TT: Kanaya,  
TT: Do your friends ever keep secrets from you?  
GA: Of Course They Do  
TT: No, I mean do they keep big secrets, things they should probably talk to someone about.  
GA: I Wouldn’t Know  
GA: I Stopped Prying After An incident With Terezi About Karkat   
GA: He Nearly Stopped Talking To Me Entirely  
GA: Why Are You Asking  
TT: Hmm.  
TT: I’m probably overreacting but, fuck, no one is talking!  
TT: And just now, my mother starts talking to some old friend, and despite making it very clear that she cut all ties from her past for a reason, she doesn’t say why this one friend is okay.  
TT: She refuses to tell me anything more until Dave wants to hear more, but he never wants to hear more.  
TT: And Dave won’t talk about the things that happened to him, and Jade won’t talk about what happened with her, and John won’t talk about what happened with him!  
TT: No one talks about anything!  
TT: We just laugh and chit chat like everything is fine, but it’s not!  
GA: Rose  
GA: This Is A Lot You’re Telling Me  
GA: I Don’t Think It’s Wise For You To Be Telling Me So Much  
GA: Others Will Keep Secrets  
GA: I Know This  
GA: And I Know First Hand Why  
GA: If I Let The Wrong Troll Know About The Departures It Could All Be Destroyed  
GA: Let Others Take Their Time To Talk  
TT: You’re right.  
TT: I shouldn’t push them.  
TT: God, This isn’t even what I wanted to talk to you about originally when I got home.  
GA: What Did You Want To Talk About  
GA: If It Is Still Relevant  
TT: I just had a few questions about quadrants, if that’s alright to ask about.  
TT: There are limited resources here on Earth.  
GA: I May Not Be The Best With Quadrants   
GA: But I Will Do My Best To Answer All Your Questions  
TT: Right.  
TT: What exactly is the difference between helping a friend, and a moirallegiance?  
GA: Well  
GA: A Friend You Might Rant To About All The Terrible Things In Your Life But They Would Be Under No Obligation To Help You Or Even Listen  
GA: A Moirail Would Be There To Calm You And Help You Through Problems And In Return You Would Do The Same  
GA: And You Never Keep Secrets From Your Moirail Whereas You Are Almost Definitely Keeping Secrets From Your Friends  
TT: I see.  
TT: I was also wondering if it was possible to hate someone without having a caliginous relationship or requiring an auspice.  
GA: Well I Suppose It Would Be Possible Since Many Trolls Hate The Empress But Are Certainly Not In A Quadrant With Her  
GA: It Is Very Situation Based Really   
GA: Though An Auspice Is Usually Involved In Any Instance Of Hate  
TT: Hmm.  
TT: I don’t think I fully grasp auspisticism. Is the point to have a mediator between two others who are constantly fighting? It seems like it would be taxing after a while.  
GA: Of Course It Would Be Taxing  
GA: The Ashen Quadrant Is Constantly Shifting   
GA: As The Point Is Rather To Stop Two Others From Killing Each Other And Hopefully Make Them Stop Wanting To Kill Each Other   
TT: That makes more sense.  
TT: And just as a clarification, a kismesisitude is similar to a rivalry, a one-upmanship if you will, with a willingness to kiss and do other things, correct?  
GA: That Is A Simplification That Would Make Karkat Cut Your Head Clean Off But Yes In Short It Is  
GA: Anything Else You Would Like Me To Explain Or Confirm  
TT: Yes, one more thing.  
TT: The purring and chirping,they are for moirallegiance and matespritship respectively?  
GA: Yes  
TT: And is it a conscious decision to keep them separate or is it impossible to make both at once?  
GA: It Is Most Certainly Impossible To Make Both At Once  
GA: Karkat Would Most Likely Skin You Alive For Thinking Both Could Be Made At The Same Time  
GA: Terezi Might Even Join In  
TT: Hmm.  
TT: Interesting.  
GA: What Is Interesting About It  
TT: It’s nothing to concern yourself with, really.  
TT: I just think that those who enforce something so brutally are usually hiding something.  
GA: Hiding Something   
TT: Yes.  
GA: Well Im Not Quite Sure What To Think Of That  
GA: Regardless I Have Quite A Few Things I Need To Do  
GA: So I Will Speak To You Later  
TT: Alright, bye.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

~~~~~

Kanaya Maryam had to make a few check ups with some of the trolls who would be the first to arrive at the ship.

It took several hours, but she got it done. 

After eating some food, Kanaya was about to resume making Karkat’s sweater. However, someone was contacting her.

cuttlefishCuller [ CC ] began trolling grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

CC: )(i Kanaya!  
GA: Hello Feferi  
GA: How Are You  
CC: Tired, )(onestly.  
CC: T)(ere’s just SO MUC)( )(APP-ENING!  
CC: glub 38(  
CC: And I just wanted to talk to a friend.  
GA: I Can Imagine You Are Very Tired  
GA: I Just Finished Making Sure 36 Trolls Were Ready To Go To The Departure Site Early Next Perigee  
GA: Most Likely All In The Same Wipe  
CC: O)( wow!  
CC: T)(at’s a lot!  
GA: Tavros Will Leave During The Second Wipe Of The Perigee  
GA: And Karkat Will Leave During The Last One  
CC: You know, I still don’t know w)(y Karcrab’s leaving.  
CC: Tavros doesn’t know w)(y eit)(er, and you, Terezi, and Karcrab won’t tell me.  
GA: I Doubt Karkat Will Want You To Know Before He Arrives On Earth  
GA: I Wasnt Supposed To Know But Terezi Accidentally Told Me  
CC: Was Karcrab mad?  
GA: Oh Most Certainly   
GA: But It Was A Different Mad  
GA: Remember When He Vanished For Half A Perigee  
CC: T)(AT’S w)(y )(e vanis)(ed?  
GA: Yes  
CC: I reely wonder w)(at )(is secret is now.  
CC: I )(ad t)(oug)(t )(e was D---EAT)(LY sick or somet)(ing.  
GA: No  
GA: It Was Just My Prying And Terezis Talking  
CC: O)( glub.  
CC: 38(  
CC: I gotta go.  
CC: S-EA YOU LAT-ER KANAYA!!!   
GA: Bye Feferi  
CC: 38)

cuttlefishCuller [ CC ] ceased trolling grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

Kanaya smiled sadly as she watched Feferi go offline. The poor thing could rarely talk to any of her friends, she was either too busy training and planning to defeat the empress, or in contact with a few humans, discussing what was happening. Usually the only reason she and Kanaya spoke anymore was to plan.

She knew Feferi would be fine with Karkat’s mutant blood, but Karkat was too afraid of the possibility she wouldn’t be. If Feferi found out before Karkat was ready for her to hear, he might hole up like before, but this time never come out.

Kanaya got up, and went to finally work on Karkat’s sweater. Kanaya had gotten very good at making sweaters, and now she worked very quickly. The fabrics were pre-made, as Kanaya could not knit, but she could sew. She would sew them perfectly to how Karkat liked them, and although it had taken a few sweeps to get it right, it was worth it.

After a few hours of sewing, and a little bit of stitching to get Karkat’s sign on, the sweater was ready to go.

Checking online, Kanaya was very relieved to find that the service she used last time was still available. It was one of the few that didn’t require blood type confirmation, and most of them shut down a perigee after they started. This one had nearly lasted 4 perigees.

She signed everything necessary, and then went to tell Karkat to expect a package.

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

GA: You Dont Need To Answer Karkat   
GA: Im Just Letting You Know To Expect A Package From Me In About A Wipe  
GA: Its Another Sweater  
GA: I Hope You Like It

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am super excited to write the next chapter. I actually had the ending of next chapter planned long before even starting to write this fic. 
> 
> As always, feel free to leave a comment with your thoughts, they motivate me to write more!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a week until Karkat leaves for earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is suuuuuuper short but i hope the quality of the content makes up for the lack of it? Uhggggg

One wipe. 

One more wipe, and Karkat Vantas would be on his way to Earth. He was terrified.

He had said his goodbyes to his friends yesterday, since there was a chance he might actually die before reaching the location of the departure, because today was reserved for making sure all plans with Dave were set, and getting to the departure location. He also wouldn’t be able to talk to Kanaya and Terezi until they arrived on Earth, and he’d probably never talk to Feferi ever again, since communication with Earth was only existent where it was absolutely necessary.

All his bags were lined up, with the essentials at the most easily accessible bags, and shit like posters closer to the back.

Tavros had indeed confirmed that the place they were staying until the departure didn’t have proper sopor slime, only sopor cream. Realistically, this was a wise move, since sopor slime was illegal on earth, and they’d need to get accustomed to sleeping in beds. Still, Karkat was pissed about the whole thing.

Now, however, he needed to make sure everything was set.

carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] began trolling turntechGodhead [ TG ]

CG: ALRIGHT DICKHEAD.  
CG: BULGEHEAD.  
CG: LET’S MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE DOING WHEN I GET TO EARTH.  
TG: sure thing kitkat  
CG: WHAT.  
CG: STOP.  
TG: what  
TG: what completely benign shit have i done to get your panties in a twist this time  
TG: kitkat  
CG: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME KITKAT?  
TG: because i know once you get here i am going to have a fucking ton of nicknames for you and you won’t be used to them so im using them now  
TG: so you know i called you kitkat cause karkat kinda sounds and looks like kitkat  
TG: cmon dude i thought it was a good one  
CG: OK, SO, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS A KITKAT?  
CG: SERIOUSLY WHAT STUPID HUMAN SHIT ARE YOU PULLING OUT IF YOUR WASTECHUTE THIS TIME.  
TG: dude just say ass it takes less time  
TG: ive seen you say it before   
CG: STOP AVOIDING MY QUESTION.  
TG: wait you mean youve seriously never had a kitkat  
TG: oh my god karkats never had a kitkat   
TG: im buying you one for when you get here  
TG: which holy fuck that’s in like a week  
TG: holy shit dude   
CG: YES I KNOW, BULGEMUNCH.  
CG: I’M GOING TO THE MEET UP LOCATION LATER TODAY, WHICH IS WHY WE NEED TO GO OVER WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN ONCE I GET TO EARTH.  
TG: right yes ok  
TG: so  
TG: the landing ship comes in  
TG: when you get to the public area me and jade will be holding a huge sign that says karkat v and tavros n  
TG: i get you a kitkat bar  
TG: we take a bus or something to the airport and then bam were in new york state  
TG: your lusus is flown in the next day  
CG: HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO GET ALL MY SHIT FROM THE LANDING SITE TO THE AIRPORT?  
CG: AND IF ALL GOES WELL, I WILL BE BRINGING A LOT OF SHIT WITH ME.  
TG: oh thats easy dude  
TG: taxi  
CG: AND HOW WILL WE GET IT TO YOUR APARTMENT?  
TG: this may come as a surprise   
TG: but i happen to own a car  
TG: i also have a mother who owns a car  
TG: rose also has a car but i dont think i want her helping out  
TG: she’d pick your brain apart and tell you something youre doing is a subconscious act to hide something   
TG: trust me you dont wanna deal with that  
CG: SO.  
CG: IT’S ALL PLANNED.  
TG: yup  
TG: btw whats your lusus again?  
CG: A CRUSTACEAN.  
CG: WHY?  
TG: just forgot  
TG: crustaceans are cool though  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: IS IT WEIRD THAT I’M KIND OF EXPECTING THIS TO FAIL?  
CG: LIKE THE UNIVERSE JUST CAN’T LET ANYTHING GO RIGHT IN MY LIFE.  
TG: i mean it kinda makes sense youd feel that way  
TG: the universe gave you a shitty play and now youre used to everything going terribly  
TG: so think of it this way instead  
TG: because of all the shitty stuff the universe forced you to go through it now owes you good things  
TG: so yeah i think youre gonna be fine  
CG: I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT THAT WAY.  
CG: SOUNDS LIKE TOTAL BULLSHIT, HONESTLY, BUT IT’S GOOD TO KNOW YOU AREN’T A COMPLETE ASSHOLE LIKE I THOUGHT YOU WERE.  
TG: woah dude cmon im letting you stay at my apartment   
TG: thats gotta help me be not an asshole   
TG: seriously karkat   
TG: i am hurt  
TG: look at that karkat   
TG: you hurt my soft human feelings   
TG: how does that make you feel?  
CG: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.  
CG: HOW DARE YOU REUSE WHAT YOU’VE ALREADY SAID IN PAST CONVERSATIONS.  
CG: OUR FIRST CONVERSATION, AS A MATTER OF FACT.  
TG: wait i said that in our first conversation?  
TG: shit i had no idea  
TG: you know these things dont save past conversations   
TG: but dude you didnt answer the question   
CG: YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN EMOTIONS ARE BROKEN BY SOMEONE MAKING A LOGICAL FUCKING CONCLUSION.  
CG: THEREFORE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THEM AT ALL.  
TG: ice cold man  
TG: youd freeze the sun if you got too close  
TG: i wont be able to get you the american staple food known as a burger becaus it needs to be eaten hot and youd just turn it into a burger popsicle   
TG: children will cry  
TG: it will be devastating   
CG: I’M GOING TO STOP YOU THERE.  
CG: I’M GOING TO BE PICKED UP SOON, AND IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME, KANAYA WILL TELL ROSE AND ROSE WILL TELL YOU.  
CG: BYE.  
TG: see you for the first time in 9 days

carcinoGeneticist [ CG ] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

~~~~~

9 days.

9 days and Dave Strider would have an alien living in his house. Shit.

If everything goes perfectly, Karkat should be able to talk to him at least one more time before the ship leaves, before communication is impossible during the 2 day journey.

Tomorrow, Dave would fly to Florida to spend the remainder of the wait near the landing site. Today, however, there was one more thing he wanted to do.

Swiftly putting on his shoes, grabbing his camera, and making his way out of his apartment, Dave headed to a small glass trinket shop a little down the road.

The bell on the door chimed as he walked in.

“Need any help finding anything?” A buff, heavy man said from behind the counter. A name tag read H. Boxcars. Weird name.

“Yeah, actually,” Dave replied, “you got any glass crabs?”

“If there are any at all, they’d be over there,” H. Boxcars tells him, pointing at a display on the wall.

Fortunately, there was a crab. Only one, but it was perfect.

It was about the size of Dave’s hand, and the glass was stained red. The face was probably distorted, but that made it look like it was angry. Perfect.

Dave picks it up, walks over to the counter where H. Boxcars is standing, and puts it on the counter.

“That all?” H. Boxcars asks.

“Yep,” Dave replies.

“Your total is 15 dollars,”

After paying for the crab and carefully putting it in a bag, Dave scouts the town for a few very specific locations.

These pictures wouldn’t be like most of his pictures. They’d be more like reminders, reminding him of places where he wanted to take Karkat to take pictures of him to post on his blog. If Karkat wanted to be in pictures, that is.

Dave hoped the pictures of Karkat would show people that trolls aren’t the murdery assholes that are in their fleet, but people were stubborn. His actions probably wouldn’t change much.

Still, Dave found quite a few locations he wanted to remember, and by the time he was done, it was just past sunset.

Heading home in a rather happy mood, he was not prepared for the messages Rose had sent him while he was gone.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

TT: I know you’re away, Dave.  
TT: However, Kanaya has informed me that something happened to Karkat.  
TT: I’ll tell you the details when you reply.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [ TG]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya and Rose are messangers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda short, sorry, but the next chapter will probably be really long!!

turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

TG: rose what the fuck happened to karkat   
TG: rose  
TT: Don’t worry, he’s safe now.  
TG: rose what happened   
TT: When he was being picked up, imperial drones happened to be doing their rounds.  
TT: They entered his hive, and his lusus was not happy about it. It ended up attacking the drones in an attempt to protect Karkat from being discovered, however the lusus was killed, and according to Kanaya, Karkat got covered in its blood.  
TT: He was only able to leave his hive with one of his bags.  
TT: Chances are he is too emotionally drained to contact you, or anyone, before he leaves for Earth.  
TG: holy shit  
TG: thats fucking awful  
TG: and youre sure hes ok?  
TT: Yes, he was able to get in the vehicle in time.  
TT: Though Kanaya suspects his lusus’s death will make the news.  
TT: Why, I don’t know.  
TT: She simply said it was highly likely, and completely unwanted.  
TG: well fuck  
TG: this is awful  
TG: rose dont you dare try to be his psychologist when he gets here  
TG: youre not licensed yet  
TG: and i think itd be weird to have his psychologist be his roommates sister  
TT: You should still get him to talk to someone about it.  
TT: You should talk to someone about what happened to you too.  
TG: oh my god rose enough about me  
TG: seriously  
TG: karkat just watched his lusus get murdered  
TG: that shits gotta be terrifying   
TT: True.  
TG: our “trauma”s are very different   
TG: he had an awesome guardian who got fucking murdered   
TG: i had a shitty one thats still out there  
TG: im going to go to sleep now  
TG: gotta get up at ass o clock in the morning to get to florida

turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

Rose Lalonde leaned back her chair. Today had been a rough day.

Someone had put graffiti on her school, “Aliens Will Kill Us”, it took up almost the entire wall.

Mr. Lethcoe had given a lecture, again, about why aliens shouldn’t be helped. At least this time most of the students argued with him.

Fortunately, today was a Friday. 

Unfortunately, on a very far away planet, a lusus’s death was making the news. Not that Rose knew for certain, at least.

Not yet.

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] began trolling tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

GA: Karkats Lususs Death Is On The News  
GA: This Is Horrible   
TT: Not to be insensitive,but isn’t it normal for lusii to be killed?  
TT: What makes Karkat’s so different?  
GA: Its Not My Place To Say  
GA: Karkat Would Most Certainly Be Angry Or Hurt Or Both If I Told You  
TT: Fair enough.  
TT: At least someone other than himself knows.  
TT: I can have messages passed onto him when he gets here, if you want.  
GA: That Would Be Lovely  
GA: Thank You Rose  
TT: Of course.  
GA: Oh Dear  
GA: I Have To Go  
GA: Feferi Is Asking About What Happened

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

~~~~~

cuttlefishCuller [ CC ] began trolling grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

CC: KANAYA!!!  
CC: KANAYA I )(AD NO ID-EA ON-E OF T)(E TROLLS L-EAVING WAS A MUTANT BLOOD!!  
CC: AR-E TH-EY OKAY????  
CC: 38(  
GA: Yes Feferi   
GA: They Are Fine  
CC: I am SO sorry!!  
CC: I didn’t even know t)(e drones were there!  
CC: I should )(ave looked closer and made SUR-E t)(ere were none at all.  
GA: Theyre Ok  
GA: Emotionally Devastated Yes  
GA: But Other Than That They Are Ok  
CC: 38(  
CC: Would it be possible for me to talk wit)( t)(em?  
CC: Apologize for not quadruple c)(ecking t)(e drones’ locations?  
GA: They Dont Really Want To Talk To Anyone   
GA: But Im Sure They Knew You Did Your Best  
GA: Is It Normal For You To Not Know Where The Drones Are  
CC: Not at ALL!!!  
CC: T)(ey BAR-ELY MOV-E if I don’t tell t)(em to!  
CC: Let alone BR-EAK INTO someone’s hive and KILL T)(-EIR LUSUS!  
CC: Somet)(ing fis)(y is going on I think.  
GA: It Does Sound Strange  
GA: Could Someone Have Hacked The System   
CC: Sollux tried once.  
CC: Just to sea if it was possible.  
CC: )(e wasn’t able to get past even the FIRST LAY-ER of security.  
CC: Maybe I s)(ould get )(im to )(elp me sea w)(at )(appened.  
GA: Sollux Is Rather Busy  
GA: With The First Departure Being Next Week  
GA: You Will Probably Have To Wait Until After He Gets Back  
CC: Oh.  
CC: Well, I’ll sea w)(at I can find for now.  
CC: BY-E KANAYA!!  
GA: Goodbye Feferi

cuttlefishCuller [ CC ] ceased trolling grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

Kanaya Maryam watched in horror the headline went everywhere.

“Mutant Blooded Lusus Culled In Hive; Troll Still Missing”

Everyone was talking about it. Some said they wanted to find the lusus’s troll, and kill them themselves. Others wondered if it was a hoax. Most thought it was a hoax, actually.

Still, Kanaya was glad Karkat was preoccupied with security checks and preparations. All of this would terrify him.

She wondere if Terezi had heard about what happened.

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [ GC ]

GA: Terezi Have You Seen The News  
GC: 1 JUST H34RD 4BOUT WH4T H4PP3N3D TO K4RK4T’S LUSUS  
GC: HOW 1S H3 DO1NG?  
GA: He Is Okay Physically  
GA: But Last I Heard He Was Covered In Blood And Hyperventilating   
GC: SH1T  
GC: 1 T4K3 1T H3 DO3SNT W4NT TO T4LK TO 4NYON3  
GA: That Would Be Correct  
GA: Though I Can Pass On A Message To Rose For Her To Tell Dave To Tell Karkat When He Gets To Earth  
GA: Its A Bit Of A Process But Its All We Can Do  
GA: She Was Kind Enough To Offer Her Services  
GC: HMM  
GC: C4N YOU P4SS ON TH3 M3SS4G3 TH4T 1 HOP3 B4D SH1T STOPS H4PP3N1NG TO H1M  
GC: L1K3 S3R1OUSLY 1F TH3 UN1V3RS3 K33PS TH1S UP 1 W1LL PROS3CUT3 1T  
GA: Terezi I Dont Think You Can Prosecute The Universe   
GC: FUCK1NG W4TCH M3  
GA: So That Is The Message You Want Me To Pass On  
GC: Y3S  
GA: Very Well  
GC: 1 DO H4V3 4 R3QU3ST FOR WHEN YOU P4SS TH3 M3SS4GE ON TO ROS3  
GA: What Is It  
GC: 4SK H3R TO B3 YOUR MAT3SPRIT  
GA: Terezi You Know Humans Dont Do Quadrants   
GC: LOOK K4N4Y4   
GC: WH3N 1 SPOK3 TO K4RK4T  
GC: OCC4S1ON4LY W3 WOULD ST4RT T4LK1NG 4BOUT HUM4NS  
GC: 4ND K4RK4T S41D TH4T D4VE S41D TH4T ROS3 S41D TH4T SH3 WOULDNT B3 OPPOS3D TO TRY1NG QU4DR4NTS  
GC: 4SK H3R YOURS3LF 1F YOU DONT B3L13V3 M3  
GA: Maybe I Will  
GC: TH4TLL B3 4 V3RY 4WKW4RD CONV3RS4T1ON

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [ GC ]

Kanaya knew she’d have to speak with Rose eventually, to pass on messages to Karkat. The question was if she’d ask her if she truly was open to trying quadrants.

It’d be an awkward question, yes, but it’s not like Kanaya wanted Rose in a Quadrant! Their relationship was far more professional than that. Kanaya would never even consider it.

Still, she has a message to pass on. 

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] began trolling tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

GA: Hello Again   
GA: I Hope You Are Not Asleep Yet  
GA: But If You Are Asleep I Will Simply Message You Again When You Are Awake  
TT: I’m still awake.  
TT: What do you need?  
GA: Terezi Has A Message She Wants You To Pass On To Karkat.  
TT: Let’s hear it then.  
GA: She Said That She Hopes “B4D SH1T STOPS H4PP3N1NG TO H1M”  
GA: And That If It Doesnt She Will Prosecute The Universe  
TT: Very well.  
TT: I will pass on the heart-warming message to Dave to tell Karkat when he gets here.  
TT: Is that all?  
GA: Could You Also Pass On That I Hope Karkat Is Comfortable On Earth  
TT: Of course.  
TT: Anything else?  
GA: Well  
GA: Terezi Has Told Me Something I Would Like You To Clear Up  
TT: Oh?  
GA: Apparently   
GA: Karkat Told Her That Dave Told Him That You Told Dave That You Wouldnt Mind Trying Out Quadrants   
GA: And I Dont Like Hearing About Things This Way So I Would Appreciate It If You Could Confirm Or Deny It  
TT: Well, I wouldn’t be completely opposed to trying them.  
TT: Keeping my options open, romantic or otherwise, seems like a good idea regardless.  
GA: Oh  
GA: Okay  
GA: I Guess Thats All I Really Wanted To Know  
TT: Well then, I should probably go to sleep.  
TT: Mother will get rather upset if I forgo sleep and simply stay up all night on my computer.  
GA: Very Well Then  
GA: Talk To You Tomorrow   
TT: Talk to you tomorrow.

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

No, however lovely Kanaya thought Rose was, she would never, ever, even consider putting her in a quadrant. Not even now that she knew Rose was open to trying them.

This isn’t even what Kanaya should be thinking about! Karkat is in a very vulnerable state, and something might go wrong again. She hoped not.

Slipping into her recuperacoon, Kanaya reminded herself to take things as simply as possible this next wipe. It would be a busy one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaaaaaaa
> 
> Sorry this took forever

Tonight is finally the night that Karkat Vantas will leave for Earth. 

His one and only bag is in the luggage section, and he’s got contacts in to cover the red of his irises. It was force of habit, a mostly useless one since he came covered in his lusus’s mutant blood.

He was exhausted, having been unable to sleep for the past week. The sopor cream was far too diluted to help with horrorterror dreams, and the idea of sleeping in such close proximity to other trolls was revolting. Not to mention that there was always at least a few awake who were crying.

“Hey, kk,” Karkat heard Sollux call from behind him.

“Sollux?” Karkat asked as he turned around to face Sollux.

“Yeah. Have you gotten your I.D. yet?” 

“They gave it to me on the ride here,”

“Good, you can’t board the ship without it,” Sollux told him, “we’ll be leaving soon, might wanna start heading over,”

“Yeah,” Karkat replied solemnly.

“Don’t be such a fucking grouch, kk,” Sollux said sternly, “you’re on a ship to an alien world. Aren’t you excited?”

“Listen, Sollux,” Karkat hissed, glaring at Sollux, “if I didn’t have to fucking be here, I wouldn’t be. Earth, from what I’ve heard, is primitive as fuck. They barely have fucking space travel! The furthest they’ve sent their species, is the planet just behind their own. Those nooksniffers think they’re all high and mighty, helping trolls who’d be culled for existing, when in reality they’ve got their thinkpans up their wastechutes,”

“Don’t sound so excited,” Sollux retorted, “Tavros is waiting for you on the ship. You better get going,”

“Yeah. Bye, then,” Karkat said as he walked over to the ship, not waiting to hear Sollux’s answer.

Showing his I.D. to the trolls putting everyone on the ship, another troll took out a loudspeaker and asked all trolls to begin boarding the ship. There was a lot of trolls.

Quickly finding Tavros, Karkat sat on the bench next to his wheelchair. He wasn’t about to spend the next two nights on this ship surrounded by strangers, with literally no way to escape.

“You, uh, you excited to meet, uh, Dave?” Tavros asked.

Karkat only glared in response. He didn’t want to talk.

An olive blood missing both her arms, half her teeth, and her right eye ended up sitting next to to Karkat. She looked to be about 4 sweeps old. A blind and deaf gold blood sat across from him, she was maybe 3, but most likely 2. A rust blood missing his left arm and right leg sat next to the goldblood, he was around 5, probably. A jade blood with only her left arm moved her wheelchair next to Tavros’s. She looked about 3. It made Karkat angry that so many young trolls had to be on this ship.

Still, that didn’t mean he wanted to talk to them.

The departure was long and tedious and horrible. Two nights of pure, complete, hell.

A lot of trolls looked at him funny. Occasionally he’d answer, proving he could both hear and speak, and he occasionally glared in response to the funny looks, proving he wasn’t blind. He could easily get up to go use the bathroom, proving he had no motor issues.

The olive blood next to him would not stop asking about what had happened to him.

For the first time in his life, Karkat is extremely grateful for Tavros being there. He had the decency to divert the other trolls attention to the best of his abilities. It worked, until the rust blood spoke up for the first time.

“Aren’t you the guy who came in covered in negymg blood?” He asked.

Tavros looked mortified that the rust blood would ask that.

“Listen, wriggler,” Karkat snarled, “learn when to keep your shout trap shut, or it’ll be what bites you on the wastechute,”

“You totally are!” The olive blood exclaimed, “That’s why your entire outfit is colourless! I can’t believe I didn’t notice it sooner,”

She then shoved her face into Karkat’s shoulder and asked, “Can we see your blood?”

“No!” The jade blood screeched, “If a troll bleeds on the ship, someone might panic!”

“Geez, I’m not asking him to cut off his fucking arm,” The olive blood replied as Karkat pushed her off his shoulder, “Just like a lil prick or something, See if he’s a mig zpiiw!”

“Aren’t, uh, you a little young to be swearing?” Tavros interrupted.

“Aren’t you a little old to be a zjiqum?” The olive blood retorted.

“I’m going to the ablution block,” Karkat said, in an attempt to escape the terrible situation, “why don’t you wrigglers try and talk to that gold blood, she looks like she needs a friend,” And he left.

They took the bait, and the blind and deaf gold blood gained 3 new friends.

“We will be arriving at the docking station in 20 minutes,” A voice said over the announcement system eventually.

Karkat got up, not wanting to be the last one on the human docking station to get on the human landing ship.

“Are you coming now, or do you want to wait?” He asked Tavros.

“I’ll uh, I’ll come with you,” Tavros replied.

They weren’t the first ones on the landing ship, but they were pretty close. Being on earlier meant they’d be closer to the ground exit, and just looking at it quickened the pace of Karkat’s blood pusher.

There were not enough seats on the landing ship for everyone, so Karkat let other trolls use them. After all, he wasn’t here because of a disability.

It took almost half an hour, but eventually the landing ship detached from the station, and made it’s descent towards earth.

The descent was terrifying. The entire ship was shaking, and Karkat couldn’t believe how primitive humans had to be to still have their ships shake so much on re-entry.

Finally, the ship landed. The doors open and-

Fuck it was bright.

All the trolls were squinting, except the completely blind ones, as most of them followed the human adults to where they would be brought to the “airport” to go on “airplanes”.

Karkat and Tavros, and a few others, made their way to the main entry of the building, showing their I.D. to the humans to let them pass.

“Is that the sign?” Tavros asked, and sure enough, two humans were holding up a sign that said “karkat v. and tavros n.”

“Probably,” Karkat replied.

They made their way over two the two humans. One, Karkat assumed she was jade, had long black curly hair, dark brown skin, and big clear circular glasses with black frames. She was wearing a white long sleeve shirt with a weird blue symbol on it, and a long white skirt.

The other human, Karkat assumed he was Dave, had short whitish blonde hair, extremely pale skin, and wore shades that completely concealed his eyes. He had a white shirt with red sleeves. It had some weird black circle thing, and he also wore black jeans. He had a rather large bag hanging off his shoulder, too.

“Tavros! Karkat!” The probably Jade girl said with a very chipper attitude.

“Uh, Jade?” Tavros asked.

“Yup!” She replied, “C’mon Dave, let’s go say hi!” And she pulled the other human over to Karkat and Tavros.

“Hey dude,” Dave said. His voice was… exactly how Karkat imagined it. Completely passive.

“Hi, asshole,” Karkat replied.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said Karkat had a temper!” Jade said, giggling.

“You fucking would too if you hadn't slept in 9 nights,” You growled at her.

“Wait you didn’t sleep? Not even once?” Tavros asked.

“Dude, that shit’s not healthy,” Dave added on.

“It’s whatever, I’ve gone longer,” Karkat told them, “now look, are we gonna grab mine and Tavros’s shit or what?”

“Yeah, we should grab your guys’ luggage,” Jade agreed.

Tavros ended up needing a cart to put all his stuff in, while Karkat simply needed to carry his one and only bag. Jade also threw the sign into the cart, which Karkat hoped she would burn as soon as possible.

Karkat knew Tavros was upset about not being able to bring his fiduspawn stuff, but was refraining from saying so considering that Karkat only had one bag. He didn’t know whether to be thankful that Tavros was being considerate, or angry that he thought Karkat was weak.

Stepping outside into the blinding Earth sun, Jade spoke up.

“Tavros and I have to go to a different airport than you and Dave do, Karkat. So, bye, I guess,” She said, “It was nice meeting you!”

“Yeah, nice meeting you too,” Karkat replied.

“Bye, Karkat,” Tavros said, “And, uh, it was nice meeting you, uh, Dave,”

“Right back at you,” Dave replied, as Karkat waved. “See ya Jade!”

“Bye Dave!” Jade called, as Karkat and Dave began to walk away.

~~~~~

Dave Strider was a little surprised by the look of trolls.

They had big floppy ears, that twitched and turned to “face” where the noise was coming from. Their noses were extremely flat, and their eyes were huge, with yellow sclarea. Tavros had what appeared to be brown irises, while Karkat’s were the same black as his pupils.

The gray skin and orange-red horns were also a little off putting, but Dave had been told about that.

Walking side by side out the landing zone now with Karkat, there was an awkward silence.

“So, May 12th, 2125. Your first day on Earth,” Dave said to break the silence.

“Yeah, it really fucking is,” Karkat replied, “Didn’t you say we’d get a taxi or some shit like that? Why the fuck are we walking?”

“Taxis don’t come down this road, at the next intersection I’ll call for one,” Dave told him, “Also, I have two messages to pass on to you. One’s from Terezi and the other’s from Kanaya,”

“Really?”

“Yeah dude, Kanaya says she hopes you’re comfortable on Earth, and Terezi says she hopes bad shit stops happening to you, and if it doesn’t, she’ll prosecute the universe,”

“She’d probably manage to win, too,” Karkat said, with a laugh.

“She sounds cool,” 

“Yeah, if you enjoy having everything she wants to ‘see’ get covered in spit,” Karkat retorted.

“There are worse people,” Dave replies.

“You know, she got blinded by one of our friends,” Karkat says.

“Holy shit,” 

“The same one that paralyzed Tavros, and almost killed Aradia. She actually was trying to kill Aradia, but only ended up concussing her,” Karkat tells Dave.

“Is this uh, friend, gonna come to Earth?” Dave asks wearily, “because she sounds terrifying, and I don’t trust her,”

“No, Vriska left for the fleet the night she was 7 sweeps old,” Karkat says, “She just sent us all a text that night, ‘Hey! I’m 7 now so I’m joining the fleet! Bye, losers!’” He mocks Vriska’s voice in squeeky sing-song voice.

“Well shit, I hope she’s not high ranking,” Dave asked, nervously.

“Well, she’s a cerulean blood, so she’s up there, but there are others that could put her in her place,” Karkat says, as the two arrive at the intersection.

“Thank god,” Dave replies as he pulls out his phone, “I’ll get us a taxi,” 

Dave only a minute after arriving at the intersection, a taxi pulls up, and Dave puts away his phone.

The driver didn’t seem too pleased about driving a troll in his car, so the drive was silent and tense. Everyone was relieved when they arrived at the airport.

“I’m pretty sure that guy wanted me dead,” Karkat says as he and Dave walk into the airport.

“Gonna be honest, dude, a lot of people aren’t happy about trolls being here,”

Proof of Dave’s words were in airport customs. Karkat ended up having his bag manually searched, got pat down, and was almost asked to strip, just so they could be sure he didn’t somehow bring a mass-destruction weapon to Earth.

Finally getting to sit on the plane, Karkat was visibly exhausted. Karkat sat in the window seat.

“I never want to go on another plane again,” He said.

“Hopefully things get better, but honestly, it won’t get too much better,” Dave replied, with a sigh, “Jade would probably have something similar, but less severe, if she went on a commercial plane,”

“What the actual fuck,” Karkat said under his breath, “I thought Earth didn’t have anything like the hemospectrum,”

“Well, technically it’s not legal, but people find loopholes, or officials turn a blind eye. We call it racism,” 

“I’m going to tell Terezi about it when she gets here. She’ll get rid of it.”

The rest of the plane ride, Dave and Karkat talk about what Karkat can see out the window. Asking why farms are where they are and who runs them, wanting to know the name of every city they fly over, demanding to know the name of each river and where it comes from and where it goes, and of course the million dollar question, why the fuck is it so bright.

Dave answered the last one with a shrug.

Of course, Karkat wasn’t the only one with questions.

“So, you guys hatched from eggs, right?” Dave asked.

“Yeah, I know humans don’t,” Karkat replied.

“Hmm,” Dave paused to think, “how many trolls on that ship hatched with their condition?”

“Maybe 2 or 3, I don’t fucking know.”

“Holy shit,” Dave exclaimed, “and most of those kids couldn’t have been older than like, 10.”

“Considering the fact that the brooding cavern trials end up killing any troll who can’t complete them, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was the only one,” Karkat informs him, solemnly.

“So the mystery condition of Karkat Vantas is something he was hatched with, hmm?” Dave teased.

“And that’s all I’m saying!” Karkat proclaimed.

“Alright.”

“Alright?” Karkat asks, confused.

“Alright, it’s cool, no need to say anymore,” Dave explains, “I’m not gonna pressure you into talking. Only Rose would do that.”

Karkat glares at him suspiciously.

“What, do you not want me to respect your personal boundaries?” Dave asks, “Because Imma be honest dude, I’m kinda expecting you to respect mine too.”

“I’m just used to everyone asking non-stop questions,” Karkat replies.

Later, when they land at the airport, Dave and Karkat grab their bags from the bag terminal and make their way to the parking lot. Dave’s car is a simple red sedan. Karkat looks at it with disgust, but Dave makes no comment.

“So, how does Glens Falls look so far?” Dave asked as he drove.

“Green,” Karkat replied, “very fucking green.”

“Most Of Earth is like that, except places like, deserts, and the poles, and the ocean.”

“Well, I’d like to see those places someday,”

“Ok so deserts and ocean we can definitely do,” Dave replied, “can’t go too deep in the ocean and it might be expensive but we can do it. The poles… are really fucking far away, dude. Most people never get the chance to visit them.”

“I thought you had a fuckton of money or some shit like that?” Karate asked.

“That’s my mom’s money. I… I don’t like using it. But, I can’t survive on my own so, whatever,” Dave’s voice was strained, and Karkat barely noticed it.

The rest of the short drive was silent.

Finally arriving at the apartment complex, Karkat looked up in awe.

“You live in this?” He exclaimed.

“Only like, a tiny part on the 7th floor dude,” Dave explained, “I don’t pay more than I need to.”

“Oh, so it’s like a communal hive then?” Karkat asked.

“Uh, sure, I guess,” Dave replied, taking both his and Karkat’s bags out of the back seat, “c’mon, up the elevator we go.”

Karkat was seemingly unimpressed by the apartment complex lobby, and even more unimpressed by the elevator.

“Welcome to your home for the next two years,” Dave said as he opened the door to his apartment. 

“It’s small,” Karkat noted as he walked in.

“Well duh, it’s an apartment,” Dave replied, and closed the door.

“Anyway, this is the main room. It’s the front entrance, living room, dining room, fuck, even the kitchen, all in one,” He continued, “speaking of kitchen…” he trailed off as he went into the kitchen and grabbed something from a cupboard.

“What the fuck are you getting?” Karkat asked.

“This,” Dave replied, and he handed Karkat a kitkat bar.

Karkat took the bar and look Dave right in the shades with the most unamused look Dave had seen in the last 3 years, as he took the wrapping off the kitkat bar, and bit off a piece of the bar.

“I’m impressed, it’s not completely repulsive,” Karkat said as he ate the rest of the bar.

“Hell yeah, the Kitkat likes kitkats,”

“Though if you call me a kitkat one more time I will shove your head so far up your wastechute, you’ll never be able to get it out,” Karkat warned.

“Oh my god,” Dave replied, “your insults are just as pointless as they were through text.”

“Fuck you,” Karkat said, “where’s my respite block?”

“Your what?” Dave asked, trying to hide his amusement of weird troll words.

“My respite block, the place where I’ll be sleeping?” Karkat repeated, in a patronizing tone.

“Oh, yeah, your room is right over here,” Dave said as he lead Karkat to a closed door.

He let Karkat open it, and Karkat could barely believe what he saw. The room looked even better than he had imagined. Dave hoped he liked it, and set Karkat’s bag just inside the room.

The bedsheets were grey, as requested, but they were patterned. That was unexpected. The walls were also grey, but this grey was more of a silver, really. There was a desk with a laptop too, with a few sticky notes on it. Next to the laptop, was something red.

“What’s that?” Karkat asked, pointing to the red thing.

“Oh, that,” Dave started, unsure of how Karkat would react, “I got it the day before I left for Florida. It’s a crab, ‘cause your lusus was a crustacean, and you kinda have a crabby attitude. They only had a red one, which I thought was fine since it’s like ‘hey dude, you are now connected to the red of Dave Strider’,” Dave paused, waiting for a reaction. When none came, he continued, “You don’t have to keep it, really it’s fine, I didn’t know at the time what had happened. Fuck, I’m pretty sure when I bought it the whole thing hadn’t happened yet-”

“I’ll keep it,” Karkat interrupted, as he walked towards it.

“Oh, uh, ok. Yeah, cool.”

“Could I…” Karkat starts, “could I have a second to just, fuck, to just think?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll start making dinner,” Dave replies as he leaves Karkat’s room, closes the door, and throws his bag in his own room.

While making dinner, which was simply mac’n’cheese, Dave was pretty sure he could hear Karkat crying. Alright, this was a complete mess.

Dave wondered what he could do to make Karkat feel better. The guy likes rom coms, right? He probably wasn’t able to bring any with him, maybe Dave could introduce him to human romcoms.

This has a chance of ending very badly.

Dave was just starting to put the mac‘n’cheese into the bowls when Karkat came out of his room. It didn’t even look like he had cried at all.

“What are you making?” Karkat asks suspiciously.

“Mac n cheese,” Dave replies, “we’ll go get groceries tomorrow, but for now I figured this was a pretty staple American food.”

Karkat eyes the bowls of yellow noodles, “I don’t trust it.”

“Dude, chill, I’ve eaten less healthy things as my main source of food for the majority of my life, you’ll be fine.”

Karkat still looks suspicious.

“Look man,” Dave started, “I was planning on even being nice, and putting on a human romcom while we ate, since I know you like them, and I’m pretty sure all yours got left behind. But if you’re gonna be all butt hurt about not trusting food, then fine, I have cereal, maybe.”

“I’ll eat it, but this romcom better be good,”

“I’m gonna be honest, I only have like, three that Rose gave me as a joke, so you might be disappointed,” Dave warned.

Karkat sighed in defeat, grabbing a bowl as Dave did, and following him to sit on the couch.

Dave turned on the TV, and went to his online movie collection, picking the one he’d think was the least terrible. Honestly, he’d never seen any of them.

He hoped he picked a good one.

Throughout the movie, Dave was looking over at Karkat to make sure he was enjoying it. Dave himself wasn’t too fond of the genre, but Karkat was completely immersed, he looked like he was about to cry at certain points.

“So how was it?” Dave asked when the movie was over.

Karkat took a deep breath, “Absolutely filthy.”

“What?” Dave asked as he tried not to laugh, “Why?”

“Because!” Karkat started, his voice raising in volume, “There was no use of quadrants! And yes, I know humans don’t do quadrants at all, but that doesn’t make it any better! Honestly, I don’t think there aren’t any words in common speech to describe how it felt to watch that.”

“Wait, common speech?”

“Yes, common speech, the language we are using right now.”

“Uh ok,” Dave replied, “how would you you describe it in not common speech?”

“In Alternian,” Karkat clarified, “I would describe it as xpuymvopgs.”

“Holy shit, that language sounds dope as fuck,” Dave exclaimed, “what does xip-uim-vop-gis or whatever even mean?”

“It means something that absolutely disgusts you, yet is entirely pleasing or enjoyable at the same time,” Karkat explains, “I think I’m gonna need a good sleep, after that. Where’s the bathroom?”

“Door to the right of yours,” Dave replied as he took his own bowl and Karkat’s to the sink to clean, “Also, those sticky notes on top of your laptop are the usernames for my friends, in case if you want to contact them, or they try to contact you.”

Maybe this wouldn’t be as terrible as Dave thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Negymg: mutant/mutation  
> Mig Zpiiw: One who’s blood does not fall on the hemospectrum   
> Zjiqum: broken, when used as noun refers to someone or something who is broken beyond repair or intended use
> 
> Hhhhaaaaaa!!!! Troll language!!! There will be more of it, and it will be explained.
> 
> Also! This fic now has a blog: https://ahfmay-official.tumblr.com  
> Check it out!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanaya is worried, and Rose goes to the lab

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sssssorry this took so long and is short!!! :/

It has been 5 nights since Karkat arrived on earth, and Kanaya Maryam has been worried sick about him ever since. Rose has said plenty about what Karkat is doing, but she hasn’t actually met him face to face, only through chat.

Kanaya wishes she could talk to Karkat herself, but unfortunately, only necessary communication is allowed.

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] began trolling tentacleTherapist [ TT ] 

GA: How Is He  
TT: Just fine.  
TT: Kanaya, nothing bad is going to happen to Karkat.  
TT: And if something did, I would tell you immediately.  
GA: Yes I Know  
GA: I Just Worry  
GA: His Lusus Never Really Let Him Out Of His Hive Before  
GA: He Doesnt Know How To Navigate The Outside World  
GA: Let Alone An Alien One  
TT: Well, he’s not alone. Dave doesn’t go to school, or have a real job, so he’s guiding Karkat around.  
TT: I’ve received quite a few selfies of the two of them.  
TT: Karkat doesn’t seem to like selfies.  
GA: I Wish I Could See Him  
GA: These Stupid Rules Not Letting Me Have Any Contact With Him  
TT: Kanaya, please calm down.  
GA: Yes I Know Im Sorry  
GA: But My Lusus Is Still Perfectly Healthy And While I Dont Like The Idea Of Her Dying I Also Dont Like Not Knowing How Karkat Is  
TT: I don’t mean to pry, but what is your relationship with Karkat exactly?  
GA: We Are Simply Friends  
GA: Last Sweep I Had Asked Him To Be My Moirail But He Said He Prefered His Quadrants Empty  
GA: Which Surprised Me Given His Taste In Movies  
TT: Well, people certainly do surprise us all the time.  
TT: I do my best to see past these surprises, but it’s not always easy.  
TT: You’d think that surely people would want help with their traumas, to talk about what happened and such.  
TT: Oh well.  
GA: I Cant Imagine What Karkat Is Going Through Right Now  
GA: He Would Only Speak To Terezi And I About His Condition  
TT: Well, after the one year mark he’s going to need to go for a check up.  
TT: Just little things, an oral examination, an x-ray, vision test, and probably a blood test.  
TT: I’ve been meaning to ask him if he’ll come a little sooner to help my mother with some research.  
TT: Speaking of which, does it hurt or sting or something when you chirp or purr?  
GA: Yes A Little  
GA: Why Do You Ask  
GA: This Is Common Knowledge  
TT: My mother claims to have reason to believe it’s not natural.  
TT: If you could ask other trolls on their experiences with the pain while purring or chirping, that’d be wonderful.  
GA: Rose You Do Understand That That Would Be A Rather Personal Question And Others Might Think Im Trying To Quadrant Them  
GA: Besides It Is Common Knowledge That Theres Always Pain  
GA: So Common That It Is Rarely Mentioned In Novels  
TT: Still, I’m going to ask Karkat and Tavros if they experience pain.  
GA: Karkat Will Most Likely Lecture You Extensively On The Knowledge That Every Troll Experiences Some Level Of Pain While Purring Or Chirping  
TT: We’ll see.  
TT: He has been full of surprises.

grimAuxillatrix [ GA ] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

Kanaya could not believe what she had just done. Telling Rose so much about her own experiences with Purring and Chirping? Why, the two might as well be moirails or matesprits already!

But no, this was all for research. Yes, the relationship between Kanaya and Rose is strictly professional, and Kanaya would never ask for anything more.

~~~~~

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering adiosToreador [ AT ]

TT: Hello, Tavros.  
TT: I have a quick question for you.  
AT: oH,  
AT: i UH, dONT ACTUALLY HAVE A LOT OF TIME,,,,,  
TT: That’s alright, it’s a simple yes or no question.  
TT: When purring or chirping, do you experience any pain in your upper chest area?  
AT: tHATS,,,,,, uHHHHH,,,,,  
AT: kIND OF A PERSONAL QUESTION,  
TT: It’s for my mother’s research.  
AT: oH,  
AT: tHEN, uH, yES,  
AT: uHH,,,,, i HAVE TO GO NOW  
TT: Alright.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering adiosToreador [ AT ]

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

TT: Karkat, are you there?  
TT: I know Dave has a tendency to drag you out to see things, but surely you must be able to answer at some point.  
CG: SURPRISINGLY YES, I DO OCCASIONALLY GET SOME FREE TIME.  
CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT.  
TT: It appears to be a rather personal question, but it’s for my mother’s research.  
TT: When you purr or chirp, do you experience any pain in the upper chest area?  
CG: ROSE, THAT IS AN EXTREMELY FUCKING PERSONAL QUESTION.  
CG: EVERY SINGLE TROLL, NO MATTER HOW ROTTEN THEIR THINKPAN IS, KNOWS IT’S NORMAL TO EXPERIENCE PAIN WHEN PURRING OR CHIRPING.  
CG: HONESTLY, ANY QUESTION ABOUT HOW A TROLL COMMUNICATES THEIR QUADRANTS SHOULD ONLY BE DISCUSSED WITH THEIR QUADRANTMATES.  
TT: Karkat, you haven’t answered my question. It’s just yes or no.  
TT: If you happen to be an anomaly in the data, that’s important information to know.  
CG: WHAT IF I DON’T WANT TO ANSWER.  
TT: Then my mother will be sad that she does not have the largest possible sample size.  
TT: She will take back up her old drinking habits, making the past 5 years worthless, all because Karkat Vantas wouldn’t answer a simple yes or no question.  
CG: FUCKING HELL.  
CG: FINE.  
CG: NO, I DO NOT EXPERIENCE PAIN WHEN PURRING OR CHIRPING.  
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?  
TT: Interesting.  
TT: Could you come down to my mother’s lab at some point so we could see why that is?  
CG: NO.  
CG: FUCK YOU.  
CG: GOODBYE.  
TT: Bye.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [ CG ]

Rose Lalonde found that rather interesting. So far, her mother had only had one patient, but other laboratories had had trolls as well, and all the data was consistent. Every troll experiences pain when purring or chirping. Rose’s mother has a theory as to why, but Rose doesn’t know what that theory was, only that there is one.

Her mother would certainly also find this interesting.

Rose turned off her computer, and headed to her mother’s room, where she found her mother laughing at something on her computer.

“Mother?” Rose asked.

“Oh!” Her mother replied, typing something quickly then turning to face her, “Yes, Rosie? What is it?”

“I have some interesting information regarding the purrs and chirps of trolls,” She said.

“Ooo, I’m intrigued, do go on.”

“As it turns out, Karkat doesn’t experience the pain other trolls do.”

“Holy fuck,” Her mother exclaimed, “He wouldn’t happen to be cool with coming to the lab, would he?”

“Unfortunately, he doesn’t want to come to the lab,” Rose explained, “though I would be interested in seeing why you think the pain isn’t natural.”

“Alrighty then, Rosie, let’s go!”

The two quickly went to the car, and Rose’s mom most likely sped to the lab.

The lab was large and foreboding, and it used to scare Rose a little. Nowadays, she knew it wasn’t a place to fear at all, and actually something to look forward to visiting, as her mother liked to display various new discoveries in both the scientific and medical fields.

The two entered the building, walking down down numerous hallways, until finally reaching one of the display rooms.

“So, what first concerned me was this,” Rose’s mother said as she turned on a screen. 

The screen displayed the muscles underneath the skin of a troll from the waist up.

“What exactly is concerning here? They are aliens after all, I don’t know what’s normal,” Rose asked.

“Right here,” Her mother replied, pointing to an area that would be in between the collarbones on a human, “the muscles are tense. At first I shrugged it off as aliens being weird…”

“But…?” Rose prompted.

“But then I got a look at the inside of the organ underneath those muscles. The affection organ,” Her mother continued, and zoomed in to inside the organ on the screen. “You see those white lines across walls of the organ?”

“Yes. They look like stretch marks.”

“That’s what I thought, too!” Her mother agreed, “And lined up with the tense muscles…”

“...The muscles are tearing apart the organ,” Rose finished.

“Now, that could be normal, again, aliens and all, it could be like the stretch marks on skin,” Her mother continued, “But there’s an enzyme in the blood, that’s found in three main places. In the lungs and stomach, it appears to produced. I don’t know why, but the newest enzymes are in those two locations. The oldest enzymes, are found in the muscles around the affection organ.”

“Oh my god.”

“The other scientists have found the same data. The lead Florida scientist and I are most likely going to get together once trolls have been on Earth for a year, and compare notes. After all, my team and I can only do so much,” Rose’s mother concluded.

“Holy fuck,” Rose replied.

“Holy fuck indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I make grammer mistakes anywhere? My proofreader didn’t finish reading this yet.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat gets new clothes, and an important conversation is had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck sorry this is so late, i messed up the first uploading so I had to reupload this chapter.
> 
> Im a fuckign mess
> 
> So sorry for not uploading sooner. 
> 
> If it’s any hope or whatever for you guys, I forecaste this fic to have upwards of 30 chapters with all this damn plot I’ve got in my head for it
> 
> Theorize, and comment your theories who knows it might help with my motivation.

Karkat Vantas sat on the bed in his new room. Strangely, sleeping wasn’t as difficult here as it had been on Alternia, albeit last night had been the first time he actually tried to sleep. Not a single nightmare of the strange horror terrors that plagued every troll on Alternia, and in the fleet. He could say that perhaps the horror terrors were not real, but a bet with Sollux had proven that yes, the horror terrors are real.

Perhaps last night had simply been a fluke. He’d have to talk to Tavros about it.

He got up out of bed, and changed into his day clothes. It felt strange calling waking hours “day” and sleeping hours “night”, but those were the appropriate terms here on Earth.

He put on his contact lenses, left his room, and went into the kitchen where Dave already waiting. It was strange, Dave was always up first. Did he not sleep? Or did he just wake up with the sunrise? Either way, Dave had always been kind enough to get out two cereal bowls, and the cereal and milk, and he never ate before Karkat did.

Karkat put the cereal and milk into his bowl first, just as usual, and started eating. Not for the first time, his eyes began to wander along Dave’s jawline. Almost missing his mouth with his spoon brought his attention back to breakfast.

It had been a little over a wipe since he’d reached Earth, and he didn’t think he’d ever get used to this place. However, he had come to the conclusion that dating a human… might not be so bad.

Ok, humans had hair on their chins, arms, and legs, which trolls obviously did not, but so what? So long as they weren’t any hairier than Dave, he could handle it. And sure, their voices were a little different than troll voices, but a one with a voice similar to Dave’s would be fine.

Yeah, it’s a little weird that all of Karkat’s standards are comparable to Dave, but that’s only because Dave is the human he’s known the longest. Yeah. Definitely that.

“So,” Dave said, pulling Karkat from his thoughts.

“What,” Karkat replied.

“You know how I do photography, right?” Dave asked.

“Yeah…”

“Well I was thinking that if I took a bunch of sweet ass pics of you and posted them on my blog, maybe people would get a little more comfortable around trolls? I dunno, it’s uh, just an idea. If you’re up for it,” He explains.

“Uh,” Karkat pauses, shocked by this offer, “why the fuck would you want to photograph me specifically? Surely there are other trolls that would put up with this shit. And better yet, they might not look like shit.”

“Alright first of all you do not look like shit, I mean sure you’re an alien and a few things are a bit weird, but you do look aesthetically pleasing,” Dave explained. Karkat was a little shocked by the compliment, and if he hadn’t spent his entire life hiding his blood he probably would have blushed. “Second of all, you’re the only troll I know that isn’t on a remote island.”

“Well I suppose if you’re okay with photographing my fucking waste disposal bag of a face, then sure, why the fuck not,” Karkat said.

“Sweet,” Dave replied, smiling slightly, “but first we need to get you some more clothes. Seriously dude, all your clothes look the exact same, that shit won’t fly in the photography world.”

“Fuck you! My clothes are great,” Karkat argued.

“Nah, bro, the people of the Internet want diversity, and colour.”

“Look,” Karkat started. He needed to explain things, “on Alternia, you really only wore your blood colour, and maybe your favourite colour too, but always your blood colour. I chose, and still choose, to be hemo-anonymous.”

“Well, you’re on Earth now. Nobody gives a shit about that stuff,” Dave countered.

He did have a point.

“Fine! I’ll wear some different fucking clothes.”

Dave smirked, and Karkat hated that smirk. That smirk was the smirk of the devil, and Karkat wanted to wipe it off Dave’s face. With his fist.

Breakfast was finished in silence, and Karkat mentally debated telling Dave about his mutation. He had a feeling most trolls would recognize him, as they did on the ship, and a mutant being the supposed “face” of all trolls was probably not the greatest idea.

But Karkat really didn’t want to have that conversation. Not now, and not really ever. It would be easier to just let things play out.

After breakfast, the two left for the mall. Karkat didn’t like shopping, he much preferred having Kanaya send him more of the exact same clothes. Despite all of Kanaya’s efforts to get him to wear different clothes, of course.

Dave picked out most of the clothes Karkat tried on. A lot of bright reds, which made Karkat extremely uncomfortable, but he didn’t dare mention it. That could cause unwanted questions.

“Try this one too, I think if you paired it with the red hoodie it would really work,” Dave said as he handed Karkat a black and white striped t-shirt.

“Oh my fuck, Dave, you’re just like Kanaya. We’ve gotten me like, twenty bulge chafing shirts, I don’t need any more,” Karkat protested.

“Bro, this is the last one, I promise,” Dave replied.

“It fucking better be, I’m not trying anything else after this,” Karkat grumbled as he went into the change room.

Changing into the black and white striped t-shirt, Karkat was glad that Dave mostly gave him long sleeve shirts, or let him wear a hoodie over top. Karkat didn’t want to explain his scars. He threw the red hoodie on over top, and walked out of the change room.

“Yeah we’re getting that one,” Dave immediately said, “if it’s comfortable.”

Karkat turned and went back into the change room. The shirt was comfortable, so they would be getting it. Besides, it did look good with the red hoodie, even if Karkat would never admit it.

When he walked back out of the change room, he and Dave went to the cashier to buy the shirt, and then headed back to their apartment. Dave tried to make conversation on the way back, but Karkat was tense, and thus wasn’t responding as actively as he normally would. He didn’t know how long Dave would be ok with letting Karkat wear long sleeves.

~~~~~

Dave Strider unlocked the door to his and Karkat’s apartment, letting Karkat go in first. 

“So, lunch,” Dave said as he closed the door, “what’re you craving?”

“Alternian food, as usual,” Karkat replied, “but I suppose that leftover pasta from yesterni- day is fine.”

Dave nodded, and took the pasta out of the fridge as Karkat grabbed the bowls. Over the past few days, Dave noticed Karkat knew where more and more things were in the kitchen, and hoped that soon enough he’d know how to cook human food without resorting to their troll alternatives.

After heating up the pasta in the microwave, the two sat in a comfortable silence as they ate.

“By the way,” Dave eventually said, “John’s dad wants to talk to you, get to know trolls before he lets one into his home.”

“I honestly doubt I’ll make a good first impression, because let’s be fucking honest, I’m not exactly up to human standard ‘niceness,’” Karkat explained.

“And how many trolls are?” 

“Tavros probably is.”

“Alright, so that’s one, any more?”

“Aradia probably isn’t the worst, a little morbid, but not violent, and Kanaya isn’t murderous so long as you don’t try to kill her or someone she cares about.”

“My point stands. Clearly, you just befriended the less murder-y ones,” Dave said, a smug grin on his face.

“Alright, fine,” Karkat shouted in defeat, “I’ll talk to John’s dad.”

“Sweet, we’ll set up the call after lunch,” Dave replied triumphantly.

When Dave does end up setting the call, the lunch dishes have been sitting in the sink for several hours. 

Dave is nervous for the conversation, yet finds that goes far smoother than he expected it to. Karkat manages to keep his explosive temper in check, and answers all of John’s dad’s questions to the best of his abilities.

Overall, it was a rather professional conversation.

“So do you think you convinced John’s dad of #notalltrolls?” 

Karkat looks very confused. “Convinced him of what?”

“#notalltrolls, it’s like the late 201X’s #notallmen, something that really shouldn’t have started,” Dave explains in unhelpful terms.

“I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about,” Karkat replies, “but I think I fooled John’s dad into believing that some trolls are actually bearable to live with.” 

“Congratulations, I expected nothing more.”

Dave’s phone dings, a message from someone on pesterchum.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

TT: I think you and Karkat might enjoy this.  
TT: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mgW9rKpLEdI

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [ TG ]

Dave taps the link, which leads to a video titled “TROLL THE NOTEBOOK HD - FULL VERSION - ENGLISH SUBTITLES”

“Bro, oh my god,” Dave says, doing his best not to smile too much or laugh, “dude, bro, bro.”

“What?” Karkat asks, annoyed at who knows what “What the fuck is it?”

“Someone fucking uploaded troll The Notebook onto youtube.”

“What’s ‘troll The Notebook’?” How can he be suspicious of a troll thing?

“A romcom, obviously,” Dave helpfully supplies. “I mean, the human version is, I dunno what the troll version is like.”

“Well, you’ll just have to watch it, won’t you?”

And sure enough, the two do watch it. It’s far bloodier and violent than Dave expected, and while the fact that they’re bleeding does put him off a little, it’s also not blood coloured. Most of it is blue or green, one character had yellow, but that character got majorly fucked up. The whole film reeks of propaganda.

“Dude, that was barely a romcom,” Dave remarks when the credits roll up, “more like fucking bloodbath, holy shit.”

“If you think that’s bloody, wait until you see one of Terezi’s courtblock dramas. The whole point is death.”

“Dear fucking gog, what is with your species’ obsession with violence and death? Like ok we get it, don’t fuck with you guys, but come on it’s a bit fucking excessive,” Dave explains, hoping to get a reaction out of Karkat.

Instead, he goes quiet.

“Yeah,” Karkat finally says, voice unnaturally quiet. “Yeah it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhhhhhg i give up  
> I was gonna wait  
> But  
> Next dave/karkat chapter will have a bit of a  
> Honk


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One troll is sad, and one human has a very important question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh hey look at the end note. LOOK AT THE END NOTE!!!

Kanaya Maryam awakes to the sound of her trollian notifying her without end. It’s rather annoying. She gets up, and drags her sopor covered body to her computer.

Oh no, it’s Terezi.

gallowsCalibrator [ GC ] began trolling grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

GC: K4N4Y4 OH MY FUCK  
GC: HOLY SH1T  
GC: K4N4Y4!!!!!!!!!!!  
GC: K4N4Y4 4NSW3R M3  
GC: K4N4Y4 TH1S 1S OF TH3 UTMOST 1MPORT4NC3  
GC: OK4Y S3R1OSLY K4N4Y4 F3F3R1 1S BUSY 4ND 1 N33D TO T4LK TO SOM3ON3 4BOUT TH1S  
GA: What Is It  
GC: 1  
GC: H4V3  
GC: 4  
GC: HUM4N!!!!!!!!!!!!  
GA: Congratulations  
GA: What Are They Like  
GC: H3 1S 4 P13C3 OF SH1T HON3STLY  
GC: 1 4M THOROUGHLY D1SS4PO1NT3D  
GC: H1S N4M3 1S JOHN  
GC: 4SK YOUR M4T3SPR1T 1F SH3 KNOWS H1M  
GA: I Do Not Have A Matesprit  
GA: The Only Human I Speak To Regularly Is Rose  
GC: F1N3  
GC: C4N YOU 4SK YOUR FLUSHCRUSH 1F SH3 KNOWS H1M  
GA: I Do Not Have A Flushcrush  
GC: YOU SUR3? >:]  
GA: Yes  
GA: I Dont Know Why You Are So Insistent On This  
GC: L1ST3N IV3 M1SS3D N3P3T4S SH1PP1NG CH4RT OK  
GC: 1T W4S PR3TTY INT3R3ST1NG  
GA: Do You Perchance Have A Flushcrush On Nepeta  
GC: M4YB3  
GC: 1 DONT KNOW  
GC: 1 M34N 1TS NOT L1K3 1M 3V3R GO1NG TO S33 H3R 4G41N  
GA: I Suppose It Is Rather Unlikely  
GA: Perhaps You Could Have Better Luck With Your John Human  
GC: GOD NO  
GC: H3S 4 LOS3R  
GC: NOT TO M3NT1ON TH4T 1 L1T3R4LLY JUST MET H1M  
GC: 4ND TH1S 1SNT 3V3N ON3 OF K4RK4TS ROMCOMS  
GA: Maybe It Is  
GA: Who Knows  
GA: Certainly Not Us  
GC: >:/  
GC: K4N4Y4 I DO NOT 4PPR3C14T3 TH1S  
GA: Oh Dear  
GA: I Suppose I Should Stop Then  
GC: TH4T WOULD B3 1D34L  
GC: OH SH1T  
GC: H3S M3SS4G1NG M3 4G41N  
GA: Have Fun

gallowsCalibrator [ GC ] ceased trolling grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

Well, at least Terezi has someone else to talk to.

Kanaya sighs, and looks out her window. The sun is still rising, burning rays cutting through the few clouds that linger in front of it. She wonders what the Earth’s sun will be like. Will it be just as sharp? Just as blindingly beautiful? Will it be just as comforting?

Her eyes wander to the bushes that used to neatly line her lawnring. They’ve outgrown their cut shapes, and look far more natural, but that was not the point of them. Perhaps on Earth, Kanaya can resume her interest in topiary. It’s far too time consuming as of the moment with the Earth transports.

A wheezing sound from outside catches her attention. Kanaya rushes down the stairs and out the door, trying to find the source. She has an idea, but she needs to be sure.

Her lusus chews on the grass calmly, as if nothing is wrong. Kanaya sighs with relief, her lusus isn’t dying yet, everything’s okay. As much as Kanaya wants to go to earth, watching her lusus die isn’t something she wants to do. It’s only then that she notices the wheezing sound has completely stopped. Maybe it was the wind.

At that moment, the wheezing starts again. Kanaya looks at her lusus, to see that she is indeed the cause of the wheezing. A bittersweet smile appears on Kanaya’s face. It’s not like her lusus was meant to live that long, she’s probably even happy that her egg will be able to hatch in the coming perigees.

She rests a comforting hand on her lusus’s side, before heading back inside to drink a glass of blood for breakfast. She’ll tell Rose about the sudden development later.

~~~~~

Rose Lalonde sighs audibly as she returns home from school. Another day, another lecture from Mr. Lethcoe about how trolls shouldn’t be on earth. Rose was almost ready to tear his eyes out, but she managed to restrain herself. Everyone in the class knew that someone was going to snap sooner or later, however.

She was about to text Kanaya, when she noticed John had messaged her quite a few times already.

ectoBiologist [ EB ] began pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

EB: rose!  
EB: please tell me you’re online and not texting your alien girl friend.  
EB: wait you have school nvm.  
EB: text me when you get back.  
EB: jade and dave are waaay too distracted by their trolls to answer me.

ectoBiologist [ EB ] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering ectoBiologist [ EB ]

TT: John, I’m not sure what you mean by my “alien girl friend”.  
TT: Are you referring to an alien girl who also happens to be my friend? Or an alien girl who I am dating?  
EB: bluh!  
EB: i was talking about kanaya, obviously.  
EB: but that’s beside the point!  
EB: i have a problem!  
TT: oh?  
EB: i got a troll but she’s mean.  
TT: That appears to be common with most trolls.  
EB: she threatened to sue me!  
TT: One of Kanaya’s friend’s threatened to prosecute the universe.  
EB: maybe they are the same troll? her name is terezi.  
TT: What a small world, we all got trolls who are friends.  
EB: that’s kind of crazy. almost like we’re in a story or something and it was all set up?  
TT: Or perhaps an outside force that still resides within our universe is allowing good things to happen for once.  
TT: The eldritch gods writhe with anger as they watch good things happen during their reign.  
EB: hahaha  
EB: it’s probably just a crazy coincidence.  
TT: Regardless of the origins of this huge coincidence, I’d love to hear more about your conversations with Terezi.  
EB: i don’t know what else there is to say.  
EB: i mean she is really weird.  
TT: She’s also an alien.  
EB: yeah, but does kanaya lick her computer screen? no, no she doesn’t.  
EB: or does she, and you just never said anything?  
TT: No, as far as I’m aware Kanaya does not lick her screen.  
TT: Though perhaps asking Tavros or Karkat if screen-licking is normal would be a more productive use of your time.  
EB: yeah, you’re probably right.  
EB: shit, my dad’s calling me.  
EB: bye, rose!  
TT: Bye, John.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [ EB ]

Finally, Rose could talk to Kanaya.

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] began pestering grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

TT: Hello, Kanaya.  
GA: Hello Rose  
GA: How Are You  
TT: Tired of one of my professors constantly telling us that trolls shouldn’t be on Earth.  
TT: How are you?  
GA: Quite Relieved Actually  
GA: Terezi Just Got Human So Now She Wont Be Stuck With Only Feferi And I To Talk To  
TT: Well that’s good.  
TT: John just got a troll, her name is also Terezi.  
TT: Perhaps they are the same?  
TT: John and I jumped to that conclusion, but I want to be sure.  
GA: Well Terezis Humans Name Is John So She Most Likely Is Speaking To Your John  
TT: Yes, that is a logical conclusion.  
GA: On A Slightly More Neutral Note  
GA: My Lusus Started Coughing Today  
GA: It Is Too Early To Predict When I Will Be On A Departure But I Might Be With Terezi On The Fourth One  
TT: Wonderful.  
TT: Perhaps I could go to Florida with John to pick you up.  
GA: That Would Indeed Be Lovely  
TT: A few months after you arrive, a scientist from Florida is actually going to come and visit.  
GA: Really  
GA: What Are They Coming For  
TT: To pool data together  
TT: My mother has made quite a bit of progress, and has a few theories she wants to talk about.  
GA: What Is The Scientists Name  
GA: I Feel Weird Just Calling Him The Florida Scientist  
TT: I  
TT: hm  
TT: I don’t know.  
TT: I’ll have to ask my mother.  
GA: Well Do Let Me Know When You Find Out  
TT: Of course.  
GA: On A Different Topic  
GA: How Is Karkat  
TT: He is doing very well, I believe. Dave has posted a few photographs of him on his photography website.  
TT: He appears to be adjusting to life on Earth fairly well.  
GA: I Am Glad To Hear That  
GA: It Is Quite Stressing Not Being Able To Hear From Him  
TT: I can imagine.  
TT: I have to go, Dave is messaging me.  
TT: Take care.  
GA: You Too

tentacleTherapist [ TT ] ceased pestering grimAuxillatrix [ GA ]

turntechGodhead [ TG ] began pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

TG: rose  
TG: fucking hell rose i dont have all day  
TG: ill be out of your hair in like 2 minutes i just need you to answer something  
TT: What is it, dearest brother?  
TG: okay so did i ever tell you when karkats troll bday is  
TT: No, I don’t believe you have.  
TG: okay its the 12 bilunar perigee of the 6 dark season's equinox whats that in human terms  
TT: One moment, my mother made a calculator for this.  
TT: June 12/13, approximately.  
TG: shit ok  
TG: thats pretty soon fuck  
TT: Dave, it’s still May.  
TG: tomorrow it isnt  
TT: It’s still two weeks away.  
TG: look apparently they dont celebrate birthdays on alternia so were throwing karkat a bday party ok  
TT: Dave, the 12th is a Tuesday. I have school.  
TG: it can be after your fancy fucking school  
TG: okay i gotta go karkat has a job interview cant be late for that shit

turntechGodhead [ TG ] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [ TT ]

Rose leaned back into her chair.

“Mom!” She calls out. “When’s dinner going to be ready?”

“Any second, you can come down now if you want.”

Rose does head downstairs. Sitting in her spot, at the dining room table, she watches as her mother cooks… whatever it is she’s cooking. It smells like pasta.

“Are you making pasta?”

“And salad! Gotta eat your greens, kiddo.”

Rose grimaces, “of course.”

Her mother brings the pot of pasta and salad bowl over to the table, and the two serve themselves.

“So how are all your little friends doing? How’s Kanaya?”

“Kanaya is doing well. Her lusus did start coughing, however.”

Her mother frowns, “poor thing.”

“But she seems to handling it well enough. John has a troll, by the way, a friend of Kanaya’s. Her name is Terezi. Also, Dave wants to throw Karkat a birthday party here on the twelfth.”

“Oh fun! It’ll be ready before you get back from school that day.”

“I’m sure it will be lovely,” she smiles at her mother, and remembers a very important question. “By the way, what’s the name of the Florida scientist you’re supposed to meet up with?”

“Oh! I forgot I didn’t tell you. His name is Dr. Scratch, but he keeps asking us to call him Doc Scratch, which is totally unprofessional by the way.”

“Is he normally so unprofessional?”

“Nope, he is quite possibly the most professional scientist I have ever met,” she shakes her head. “Now eat up, I didn’t cook this for aesthetics.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m making a comic on MSPFA https://mspfa.com/?s=27806&p=1
> 
> plz read it
> 
> Also oooooooooo doc scratch what he up to i wonder

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment, they motivate me to write more!
> 
> Also, don’t forget to check out the official blog! https://ahfmay-official.tumblr.com


End file.
